Taiwan Pirate: Asian Art, Education, and Adventure

Where can I find a book cover designer? Creative book cover design

2011-10-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hello, stray wanderer of the interweb. You've found a blog that I rarely use anymore. My name is Derek Murphy, and I do many things, including getting my PhD in Literature, Writing Books and Oil Painting. I'm in Taiwan working on developing my triple career and slowly building my credibility, skills, experience and resume.

Recently I've branched out to do book cover design as well. I'm comfortable enough with photoshop to do pretty good work. Within the price range ($100~$300) I may even be one of the best. So if you're looking for creative book cover designs or a stunning, professional cover for your book or ebook, come check it out!

http://bookcovers.creativindie.com/

Thanks, Derek Murphy

7 book publishing, book cover design, professional blogging and marketing tactics that rock.

2011-01-04T11:20:00.000-08:00

Ok I lied. I don't have a list of 7 awesome tips for you to follow. What I'm learning is hundreds of invaluable tips for making money online, which is what I've been working on recently, that I thought I should post as I haven't updated this blog in forever (sorry for that, my two followers).

My main blog is holyblasphemy.net, which I'm struggling to make popular and successful, so that I can launch the **** out of my new book, Jesus Potter Harry Christ: The Fascinating History of the Literary Jesus. Although I'm excited with these projects and would gladly lock myself at home at eat instant noodles to work on them, unfortunately I have to go to class (for my PHD in Literature) and work part-time... and then worry about money because I'm not making enough.

Luckily some of the online marketing tips I've been getting (just bought a couple awesome packages on book marketing) have given me some great ideas. Rather than simply offering editing and proofreading services, for example, I've also put a couple packages together for affordable, professional book cover design and book cover formatting services, as well as marketing services for self-published authors.

Which, dammit, I should've been doing a long time ago. I've gotten pretty freaking comfortable with photoshop and indesign and I know a lot about book marketing and promotion (not that it's easy... but I'm learning). After I finish making my own book an amazon best seller, I'll put out an ebook about how to do the same thing and charge lots of money for it.

Oh yeah - apart from all this, soon I'll be setting up a blog devoted to learning Chinese in 90 days, which I'll do this summer. Before my next birthday (about a year) I plan to be making $3000 a month in passive income... or, at least, in service-related income.

2010-10-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

My awesome new tattoo machines. :)

MEXT MONBUKAGAKUSHO Part II: The Interview

2010-06-22T15:02:00.000-07:00

MONBUKAGAKUSHO: MEXT a research scholarship for people who want to study in Japan. Although based in Taiwan, I've wanted to move to Japan for a long time, but also want to finish my PHD asap. SO, I applied. The downside was the timing - I live in Taiwan but had to fly home for the Interview in Portland, Oregon. No big deal, just had to shuffle my summer plans and quit my job. My application proposal was pretty good I thought, so it all comes down to the interview - which was more demanding than originally expected and came in three parts: A) English Test B) Japanese Test C) Interview. This post will talk about my experience of these steps for those who will go through the same process. Not that this experience is from an embassy in the USA and may be very different from other embassies.

A) Yes, although all applicants (there were 7 but two dropped out last minute -Yeah!) were native English speakers, we were still advised to take the 1 hour English exam. Technically it was 'optional'... but we were told it was a good idea so we all took it. Pretty simple, lots of grammar, fill in the blank, reading comprehension questions. Shouldn't be difficult for anyone.

B) Japanese Test. There are stories of people getting the scholarship without speaking ANY Japanese - which is why I applied. I knew this was a weak point, so in the days before my interview I studied as much as I could. I conquered 'hiragana' the basic phonetic alphabet so I could at least transpose the Japanese characters into their phonetic sounds. This didn't help me understand what the sounds meant, however. In 40 minutes I finished about 25% of the test and guessed at the answers. I could have transposed the whole test, or guessed at all the answers, but I figured it wouldn't matter much. If I don't know any of the answers, why guess? Obviously, I need to study more Japanese. The test was hard, is hard, and doing well on it is cool, but it isn't necessarily the most important part.

C) The Interview. This is what I was counting on the most. "When it comes down to it", I told a friend recently, "They're gonna choose the person they like the best, the person with the best personality... they're gonna go with their gut feeling. And there are ways to get people to like you..." (I'd been reading Dale Carnegie.)

Unfortunately, I talked with the other applicants beforehand and they were all smart, well groomed, interesting people. I can't say with certainty that I was any more appealing, interesting, or charismatic than any one of them. Shoot.

The questions I prepared beforehand, based on the MEXT Preparation guide Ebook were:
1) "Tell us about your research proposal",
2) "How will it benefit your home country/Japan",
3) "Why Japan",
4) "What's your Japanese Level",
5) "Why should we pick you?"

But I didn't get all of those. I was particularly proud of my 3-part answer to #5, which I never got asked and couldn't find a way to bring up. Mostly, the asked me to explain my research proposal and asked some indepth questions about it, and they asked why I had to study it in Japan. I did OK on that part. But a couple of questions threw me off, and I didn't answer very well.

The first was a vague "What interests you about the culture of Japan?".
I was not prepared for this. I didn't want to say something stupid like sushi, origami, sumo, or cherry blossoms (western stereotypes). I basically said I didn't know a lot but I was excited to learn. However, be prepared with this one! Yes, they want to hear how great Japanese culture is, and what you hope to learn on the side, and what activities you will participate in besides study! I missed the opportunity to say those things.

The second was "Tell us more about your paintings". I'm a painter and I guess I put that in my application but forgot. So they asked me about it and I wasn't ready. I should have said I would get involved in the japanese art scene, get inspiration from the temples, the culture, etc, influence my art and my work. Instead I kind of bowed out of it humbly, saying it was just a hobby, not a career, kind of not important. Missed that opportunity as well.

Basically, in the interview you need to say WHY you will go to Japan and WHAT you will do there - but this is not only about your research. Talk also about the culture, the extra-curriculars you will get involved in, sports, arts, trips, etc.

My MEXT Monbusho Study in Japan Scholarship Process Part I

2010-06-03T01:53:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to go to Japan since I was about 12. Since then, somehow, I keep getting sidetracked. I've been in Taiwan now for over 7 years and have still not been to Japan - worse still, I'm now 'too old' to start over teaching bratty kids, competing for jobs with fresh-faced, young and enthusiastic uni-graduates. I'm ready to finish my PHD studies, publish some articles, and get a nice, comfortable university job as a professor until I'm 80 years old.

I have been accepted to NTU, which is fantastic - it's Taiwan's #1 school and I'm lucky to get in. However, at the same time, I was turned down for the Taiwan Scholarship. Not that I blame them; as a white-faced English speaking foreigner, I automatically have the ability to make lots of money in Taiwan and take care of myself, so maybe they gave the $ to someone more deserving. Fine. Whatever.

I had made the choice to go to NTU because it made the most sense, but since I know knew I wasn't going to be on scholarship, which significantly changes the lifestyle I had planned out for myself, I'm ready to do something a little more risky. I got out the application package for the MEXT that I had prepared a few months ago.

The MEXT, or Monbukagakusho Scholarship Japanese Government Postgraduate Research Program, is a Japanese government grant that covers your tuition, cost of living, and transportation to Japan. You can get it if you're in Japan through a university, or you can get an embassy to recommend you. That's what I did... unfortunately, since not much information is easily available, I emailed my embassy contact a lot of dumb questions for about 6 months. Wasn't a smart move, but oh well. I had put together what I thought was a really strong package; I even got it translated into Japanese - but then I decided to go to NTU intead.

Now, sure that I really wanted to go to Japan if I have the opportunity, I bought a copy of the #1 Monbukagakusho Scholarship Study Guide, after reading it I found out I'd gone about my application all wrong. I was talking about why I wanted to go there rather than what I wanted to do there. The MEXT is a research scholarship, which means you need to make a research proposal: abstract, keywords, thesis statement, study plan and timeline, etc. That's the important part.

Also, although I know what I want to study, there was no clear connection with Japan other than I wanted to live there. After reading the ebook and updating my application, it's now reasonably strong; I tied in what I had plan to study with a specific and notable piece of Japanese culture - so now I'm able to list my research benefits which is super important.

Anyway, at the point I've turned in the application and am getting ready for the interview - I was told that I actually SHOULD try to find an advisor in Japan (I'd misunderstood this before) so in the next week I'll be frantically sending out emails to everybody in Japan. Yikes.

Art Exhibitions in Taiwan (Taipei, Kaohsiung)

2010-05-07T03:32:00.000-07:00

I have two art exhibitions going up in Taiwan. The first is at Alleycats HuaShan in Taipei. It's a nice art area made from a previous wine factory. Stop by to see the paintings and eat some pizza. It will be open until early June, the flier is up above.
謬象德瑞克。墨菲
開幕派對 4/25 （日）8-10PM
巷貓 – 華山店:
台北市八德路一段一號

The next is in Kaohsiung, at the Warehouse art gallery. This is near Pier 2, also an artistic area, with some great galleries and art stuff. If you're in Taiwan and want to see some contemporary art or surreal oil paintings, please stop by to see my art exhibitions.

德瑞克墨菲 (Derek Murphy)
展覽將於 5/15 (六) 晚上6~9:30隆重開幕
歡迎喜好藝術的朋友前往參觀
本期展覽將持續展覽至5月29日
千萬別錯過喔!
地址: 鹽埕區莒光街67號, 靠近捷運鹽埕埔站

You can see more of my work at www.derekmurphyart.com

Doing business in Taiwan: Dealing with Men vs. Women

2010-05-07T03:19:00.000-07:00

I'm going to throw a cultural stereotype/generalization at you, which I think may mostly be true.

Recently I needed to get some printing done. I went to my usual store, which is run by a bunch of teenage girls, and was quickly frustrated. They had no customer service, I was always waiting, they didn't try hard to figure out what I wanted, and rather than offering solutions I got a lot of negativity. They didn't know how to print just what I wanted, how I wanted, in the right size, with the right paper... and in the end, when I said I needed it in 2 days (by Saturday) they said it was impossible. So I walked out.

Down the street I found another shop. A 40+ year old guy helped me out. He was very helpful, got exactly what I need ordered. At first he made a big deal about Saturday being impossible, but I kept pushing and finally he said he'd get it done. I was very excited; he'd shown me samples - if my stuff looked like the samples it would be great. Very high quality.

Unfortunately.... to get things printed well shops need to send them out to a factory for laser printing. There's a 2 day wait that can't be sped up. Because I had pushed so hard and the guy wanted me business, he took the job but printed the fliers in store on his copiers. Result: thinner paper weight, much lowered quality. He even squished my file to make it fit the standard printing size, so the pictures were squished. Not horrible, but not the quality that I had wanted. Yes, it's my fault for being in a rush and feeling like I deserve to be able to break the rules and get things done faster. But still.

Cultural Stereotypes about Taiwan/Asia that I've learned from the experience.

1) Girls are taught to follow rules. They are slow, insecure, can't think outside the box, follow the instructions and guidelines. However - they probably have learned the 'right' way to do it and that way may really be the best way. They probably know what they're doing. It's best to conform to them and their suggestion than make them conform to what you want; you may be wrong/not understand why they think you need to do it their way.

2) Guys are more inventive. They'll cut corners. They'll give you what you ask for. They're less concerned with making the best product and more concerned with meeting your requirements. They may be more likely to cheat or scam you with less quality.

Also - the men are often the bosses: so if they scam or cheat you, it's because they are directly getting the extra profit.

Meanwhile women are the employees. They aren't interested in scheming you out of your money - because they won't see any of it anyway. They are concerned with giving you the best product.

Thus: When doing business in Asia/Taiwan, deal with the women if you want the best. Deal with the men if you want something faster, cheaper, or more customized.

Chinese Marble Fu dog with baby sculpture

2010-03-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

Beautiful and unique marble statue; probably used to be a set but just have the one. Discovered it in the ruins of an old house in Southern Taiwan. Pretty sure it's marble. Extremely heavy. Base is 12x6.5. Signed with Chinese character stamp carved in.

Not sure about the history...

18th century Japanese Ivory owl carving

2010-03-29T09:12:00.000-07:00

Recently inherited this piece from the family estate; was given to my mother as a child from an older relative. There is a signature on the base in (japanese?) characters. Based on similar items, my best guess is that this is carved Japanese ivory, probably 18th/19th century. The eyes and feet are painted yellow, a little carelessly. This may have been done later. The feet are metal/ivory.

The piece is pretty heavy; maybe mammoth?

What do you think it is? Value estimate?

12th Century Khmer Bronze Figure of Buddha Muchalinda

2010-03-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

I've had this piece for years and am suddenly aware that it might be very valuable; if authentic. The style of the piece is most similar (identical) to pieces from the 12th century Cambodia, Angkor Thom or Khmer region. It's 16" tall, the base is 4.5x3". It is "well cast and sensitively modeled, with Buddha seated in meditation on the coils of Muchalinda, rising to form a seven-headed hood sheltering Buddha, his face with a serene expression with downcast eyes and hands held in his lap, the faces of the nagas well defined and with incised scales retaining original gilding, with a smooth blue green patina (which results from azurite leeching out of the metal over the centuries)" (description modified from similar item).

I have no way of telling whether it is truly 8 centuries old or was cleverly made to look that way; I need an expert appraiser for this. However, I've seen no 'fakes' or reproductions that look like this; everything I can find that's similar sells for anywhere between $1000 to $50,000... My piece is unique in that it breaks into 3 pieces - base, seated buddha, and 7 naga backpiece. I have seen other statues of the same period where the Buddha also was loose from its supporting stand. So what do you think? Authentic? Value?

MORE INFORMATION:
In Buddhist iconography, naga serpents bring wisdom and protection. Mucalinda, Muchalinda or Mucilinda is the name of the specific naga depicted in this statue. This particular naga protected the Buddha from the a rain storm after the Buddha's enlightenment. Here's the story: four weeks after Sakyamuni Buddha began meditating under the Bodhi tree, the heavens darkened for seven days, and a prodigious rain descended. The mighty king of serpents, Mucalinda, came from beneath the earth, and protected with his hood He who is the source of all protection. When the great storm cleared, the serpent king assumed his human form, bowed before the Buddha, and returned in joy to his palace.

There are numerous extant Cambodian images of this configuration because it was the focus of a cult during the reign of the Cambodian king Jayavarman VII, who ruled the Khmer empire from about 1181 to 1218. Although this scene had been depicted earlier in South and Southeast Asian art, it was the Khmer who popularized this particular image of the Buddha seated under the Naga's 7-Headed canopy. The reasons that Jayavarman chose to stress the Muchilinda Buddha remain speculative. Snakes were associated with healing, and perhaps because Jayavarman may have been lame, he emphasized healing, as indicated by his construction of hospitals throughout the kingdom.

English Editing, ESL Instruction, Religious Writing and Surrealist Oil Paintings

2009-11-23T05:57:00.000-08:00

ALL ABOUT ME! I'm taking stock of my successes (before turning 30) as well as amping up/strengthening a few of my personal projects. Check out some of the things that I'm working on:

1) I run an editing and proofreading website. If you need help editing a book, manuscript, essay paper, thesis or dissertation, please check it out at http://www.paper-perfect-editing.com

2) I'm an artist. My home site, featuring my surrealistic oil paintings, is http://www.derekmurphyart.com

3) I run an English Summer Camp in Taiwan. We focus on practical English and ESL conversation, fluency by providing an English Immersion Environment. See more at http://www.englishculturecommunity.com

4) Finally, I'm a writer/researcher. I focus on religion, history, and spirituality. I have a lot of articles, and some books, at my website http://www.holyblasphemy.net

Quality editing and proofreading for your English documents

2009-11-17T23:56:00.001-08:00

I've redone my proofreading and editing site again; if you need editorial services, copy editing, proofreading or help for essays, papers, books, etc - I have the best prices around and offer great service:

http://www.paper-perfect-editing.com

Superstition, ghosts and magic in Taiwan

2009-10-20T02:10:00.000-07:00

Taiwan seems like a very advanced, modern place with open minded people. I was recently reminded that this is not true; I'm using 'ghost money' to paint a painting, which has garnished some strong reactions. Ghost money is money that you burn to give to ghosts, or deceased relatives, or gods to placate them. If you run over a cat (as my student, who is a doctor did recently) and feel bad about it, you can burn ghost money with pictures of cat food and toys on it. Besides money, you can burn plasma TV's (made of paper), food or lots of other things, which will then be transferred to the spiritual world, ready to use.

When I die, please somebody burn me effigies of Pam Anderson.

This is pretty similar to the Egyptian practice of burying the dead with useful items for the next life. It's a nice thought, an interesting cultural facet, and universally believed. Doctors, engineers, lawyers, students... the boundary of 'Taboo' is not simply that, in using the ghost money, I'm doing something inconsiderate that some people might not like; it is a personal belief that using the ghost money is unlucky, will attract misfortune to me.

Gosh I hope not - but I have a strong idea for a painting and want to do it; it only works with the ghost money, so I'm going ahead. However, I doubt any gallery in Taiwan will display it, and of course no one in Taiwan would want to buy it and put it in their house.

I don't understand why though; the stores are filled with STACKS of ghost money; why don't the ghosts go hang out in the stores? Why isn't selling ghost money unlucky? Surely ghost money has it's power in its application; the intentions of usage. Ghost money represents and preserves the intention of being generous with the dead of with the gods; otherwise it's just paper.

德瑞克墨菲(Derek Murphy)當代亞洲藝術

2009-10-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

作品瀏覽

台灣當代藝術/ 當代亞洲藝術

德瑞克‧墨菲 (Derek Murphy)的創作擅於玩味宗教象徵與大眾文化之意象，試圖尋求深伏於各式爭議性議題之下的光點。德瑞克作品最出色之處，是在於他處理圖像所展現之精妙度與創新性。他的手法並非如一般的模式，即循環利用同樣的意象與主題，以便廣泛呈現一大綜合概念。德瑞克的每一作品，內容上通常沒有太大的關聯性，但風格總有一定的機制在運作，亦有幻化不定的詭譎元素穿插於中，更有他所繪的一個個臉龐，泛現困惑與慌恐。

Work 創作

德瑞克的創作擅於玩味宗教象徵與大眾文化之意象，試圖尋求深伏於各式爭議性議題之下的光點。
德瑞克作品最出色之處，是在於他處理圖像所展現之精妙度與創新性。他的手法並非如一般的模式，即循環利用同樣的意象與主題，以便廣泛呈現一大綜合概念。德瑞克的每一作品，內容上通常沒有太大的關聯性，但風格總有一定的機制在運作，亦有幻化不定的詭譎元素穿插於中，更有他所繪的一個個臉龐，泛現困惑與慌恐。

構圖之取材，不論是各式的拼貼或一疊疊的照片與圖像影本，德瑞克皆有辦法捕捉並烘托出影像中所蘊涵的混沌與荒謬感，縱然媒材是”靜物”影像亦能如此。他擁有非凡靈巧的能耐，熟稔於即刻辨悉文化宗教領域中極具衝突性的元素，勾繪出頗具爭議性與駭異的題材，使其創作充斥著一股強烈的生命力，展現一番剌激的魅力，俘獲他人可尋，但不可見悉。

作品瀏覽

Is it Surrealism? 是超現實嗎?

超現實主義狹義而言指的是像達利等畫家的畫風，基本上超現實一詞，可追源至佛洛伊德的潛意識與夢之解析。然而，超現實主義現已廣泛用來描述繪畫創作，形容其傳達意念頗為真實，但呈現手法卻是異常甚至是駭人的。事實上，德瑞克認為自己的風格實為”後現代荒謬主義”，承襲超現實派大師馬格利特及小說家卡繆之理念。

荒謬主義背後隱涵之哲理，即是人所能理解的終究是有限的，因此號稱絕對真理之存在甚是荒謬。然而，此番荒謬並非悲觀，而是藉此愉悅並幽默風趣地體驗人生，縱然一切了無意義。

Statement 聲明

我的畫作展現出我樂觀的天性，我幽暗的諷世性，與我精神之深邃。我深深敬畏這世界的力量，倍受其暗藏的喜悅所驚動，並為其頑劣難治的意識形態垃圾所震怒。頑腐不可變通的信念，是密佈這整個世界的電欄: 標籤、區別、分離、譴責。只要我沒有這些，我也不會有什麼基準來批判他人或讚揚自己。我希望能藉由巧妙玩弄敏感話題，得以將焦點轉注於情感的藩離幕帷，這也是定義我們為何的關鍵。我遊浮於常理之外，並深為神秘的驅動力所傾迷。我活在無息的掙扎中，試圖平緩內在多重自我之間針鋒相對的衝突，而畫布即為兩方皆能平等對言之論壇。無論如何，我是我的時間的產物，而我所能做到的，是分享我的視野觀維所見的這世界。

作品瀏覽

New Taiwan Contemporary Asian Art Exhibition

2009-10-14T14:18:00.000-07:00

I know I know; I shamelessly crammed that title full of keywords. This way anybody searching for Asian art, contemporary art in Taiwan, art exhibitions in Asia or something like that may find out that I, Derek Murphy, am having my second exhibition this year in Tainan, Taiwan. I'm well on my way to being a career artist.

The gallery is called Gallery 102, it's a small but elite gallery in Tainan county. I've added some details on my Facebook page, and I'm also posting about it on my main website, Derek Murphy Art.

If you happen to be in Taiwan (Tainan) and desperately need to look at or buy an American contemporary surrealist's Asian art (oil paintings) then stop on by, below is a map:

Ed Murphy Planning, Development and Land Use Consulting, Oregon

2009-09-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

I made a website for my father but it's getting no visitors! It's beautiful; go check it out:

www.edmurphyplanning.com

Ed Murphy and Associates is a land use planning and development group centered in Portland, Oregon. Ed Murphy has handled projects throughout the state of Oregon and is connected with key players in the planning and development field.

Whatever your project; he's the man to get it done.

A foreigner's perspective of Taiwan

2009-09-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

I've been asked (repeatedly - and forgotten several times - and now am under strict moral obligation to finish) an article about my impressions of Taiwan. It is due at the end of the week, and although I'm very sleepy, I'm going to go ahead and write it.

There are many reasons people come to Taiwan; but I'm willing to bet that most people's are as random and unplanned as my own. Unless you have family in Taiwan or some previous connection here, foreigners thinking of going to Asia will probably go to Japan or Korea (if they want to teach English) or China (if they want to learn Chinese). Taiwan is, for most Westerners, a place that sounds a lot like 'Thailand' and makes a lot of cheap plastic toys.

After living in Italy, I was suffering from the claustrophobia of a stint at my parents' house and dating a girl that had studied Chinese. Although I'd planned on heading to Japan, I got a return email from someone in Taiwan who said they could offer me a job right away; and thinking that I could (romantically) 'pave the way' for a co-escape from America, I bought a ticket and left.

That was six years ago. I remember my first meal (and many more to follow) from 7-11; the loneliness of being a foreigner during Chinese New Year while everybody else is with their family; the strong and exotic flavors of the local food; and trying to remove the plastic top from my first cup of tea instead of poking it with the straw.

My 'job' turned out to be an agent, who passed me onto another agent, who took me to Chiayi and from their to even smaller towns. Although I had no intention of working or living so far from Tainan, which I'd specifically chosen for its size and culture, I did a handful of 'teaching demos' for schools; I remember feeling the absolute panic and embarrassment of standing in front of a group of children with a book and having no idea what to say or do. Like many foreigners who come to Taiwan, I'd never taught English before.

Eventually I found a job and stuck with it for a year. After that I found another. Although teaching English lures many people to Taiwan, they soon learn that Taiwan has its own gifts to offer. Being a foreigner is a lot like being a movie star in Taiwan. People stop and stare. Kids point. Girls giggle. If given the opportunity to talk with you, people will feel happy and confident that they've made a foreign friend. If you're lost, someone will probably volunteer to be your personal tour guide, get you to where you need to go and then invite you home for tea. If you go to a restaurant, you'll probably receive free samples of all their famous dishes.

At least twice I've run out of gas and had the mechanic give me his own scooter so I can go and get more from the station.

Why am I still here? I've gotten so comfortable with my life in Taiwan I'm not prepared to go anywhere else. I can work very little and afford good food and a nice place to live; I can go shopping and buy anything I need at any time of day (or night); the Taiwanese are insufferably kind, helpful, smart and friendly; and there is always plenty to do.

I'm usually so into my routine that I forget its a 'foreign' culture; luckily there are reminders - like the old man who sells cotton candy from a rusty old cart at 3am; the flashing disco ball set outside cell phone shops to attract new customers; the days when traffic all over the city shuts down to make way for a throng of worshipers carrying their gods from one temple to the next; the sudden, house-shaking firecrackers that go off some mornings at 5am.

There's a tantalizing mixture of tradition and modernity in Taiwan that just doesn't get old...

Ok, lame ending I know. How'd I do so far?

Studying in Taiwan: Losing Face

2009-09-09T02:36:00.001-07:00

When I came to Taiwan I was a cocky young kid; I was sure I understood the concept of 'face' enough not to make a big deal about it. "It's just about being polite and respectful; we have the same idea in Western Countries." But today I'm thinking about face in a whole new light...

I consider myself a respectful person. I am cautious, slow to speak, and choose my words carefully. I almost always try to send a balanced, polite email when I request something. But my requests are often ignored. Maybe it's because I'm always seeking external confirmation ('am I doing this right'?) and asking for help when I should be doing things on my own. Or maybe it's because I'm asking questions that I shouldn't.

In Malta, they raised our tuition fees by about 30% one year. That's a hefty hike. And since Maltese students don't pay tuition (only international students), and since the quality of the education hadn't improved, I felt that they were taking advantage of international students to fund private domestic affairs - and I was outraged. I send a scathing letter to the dean, the board, all the top brass, asking 'where is this money actually going??' Basically I was a small thorn trying to empower myself with rights which I didn't have.

I haven't changed much. Now I'm in my (4th year) Master's of Foreign Languages at NCKU in Taiwan. Last semester, after I had been accepted in the PhD program, someone at the department counted up my credits and found out I was short. This was entirely my fault... although I didn't do it on purpose, I must have miscounted. It is a shame that nobody at the university looked at my credits earlier, but I understand it isn't their duty. (Ie... it isn't in their job description). I'm not bitter, or jaded, or angry at anybody - at least not with my rational mind. But this year I'm taking the extra semester I need to get the final credits I need to graduate, and I'm a little worried.

Now I know that nobody else is going to be looking out for me, holding my hand, helping me select the right courses, which brings me to the very practical fear that, at the end of the semester, I will again be told that I got something long and still cannot graduate; at which point, I will be extremely upset at the lack of support of my department. Sure, strictly speaking, it isn't anybody's responsibility, and sure, even though the courses are in English, and a lot of the supplementary materials, forms, and information is in Chinese, it isn't their fault that I can't speak Chinese.

However - most universities or support staff that have international students do take care of them. They are quick to anticipate needs, and make the already complicated transition of studying abroad easier. Sadly, not so with my department.

Here is where the concept of face comes in: maybe it's true I ask for too much help. Maybe my imperialistic sense of entitlement is overbearing. I'm already pretty sure my nagging has alienated the faculty of my university. (I wouldn't nag if they would just answer my questions). But at the same time, I'm freaking sick of being in school, being off scholarship (for my second year), a little peeved that I'm not starting the PhD program as planned, and horrified that I'm playing some nightmarket game, tossing darts blindfolded, and that at the end of the semester they're going to hand me a cheap toy and say "You lost! Want to play again?"

So I've sent them an email voicing my fears and asking them to help me check my credits. This should not be a big deal - if they were friendly and helpful in the first place, I wouldn't feel that I'm overstepping my position. Am I being rude? By voicing my fears about the end of this semester, I'm calling attention to what happened at the end of the last semester, and implying indirectly that - if only they had helped check my credits before - I wouldn't be in this current crisis (which is TRUE - but by bringing it up even indirectly, am I causing them to lose face? Does 'losing face' just mean making people feel bad in order to get what you want? If I were Chinese/Taiwanese, would I just 'accept my fate' as bad luck, and stoically persevere?)

I feel like the culturally correct thing to do is pretend I don't need any help, check all my own data 10 times, make sure I have everything... or maybe ask my school classmates to do it (which I've done for most of the past 3 years.)

My main problem I guess is that I try to improve everything I'm involved in. This is the way the system is - but the system runs without care or concern of its students. This is Taiwanese culture, where individuals are supposed to work hard to keep up with the (frivolous) demands of the organizations; the organizations become stagnant dinosaurs, propped up by reputation rather than sheer innovative quality. I either want to grab the wheel, and make things better, or I want to get the hell out.

What do you think about this? Am I a whiny nuisance?

Surgery for better English.

2009-09-08T03:46:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. God.

"Speaking English with a native accent has become such a status symbol that some parents reportedly put their children through the clinically questionable surgery of snipping the thin tissue under the tongue to make it longer, helping the children to pronounce the "R" sound better."

I wonder if this actually works. I'm going to guess 'fuck no'. Asians who grew up in America or other English speaking countries speak perfectly. Their little Asian tongues haven't kept them from reaching full linguistic capacity. Which means that this news only confirms how terrifically, horrifyingly weird and bizarre Koreans can be.

See the article here:

http://www.21stcentury.com.cn/story/23727.html

Inspired Artists Day Four

2009-08-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

Day four of our trip was designated to shopping and fashion; I had my fill of art yesterday and my head is still spinning from sensory overload. I collected lots of magazines, business cards, and ideas to expand my career as an artist. Now it was Funky's turn. As mentioned, we didn't make it to Danshui, and we also didn't get to the Jade market - another place I was hoping to get to.

Taipei has lots of shopping options. Around Taipei 101 is probably the most 'high class' fashion area - all the big expensive brands and malls. We were looking for bargains and inspiration, so instead we went to Ximending (the area around the Ximen MRT stop). Ximending is a popular place for teenagers so it has tons of fun, trendy, not too expensive clothes and accessories; it's also just a fun place to hang out. Spend some time in the indoor malls in the center of the shopping blocks to find interesting specialty stores.

In the evening, we took the MRT to Tienmu, and upper-class area above the Shilin MRT stop. Tienmu has a brilliant weekend flea market that has grown very popular. This is the place to dig through piles of 2nd hand clothes, pick up strange or exotic knick-knacks and souvenirs, bargain for a deal. Up the street from the market are some pretty great clothes stores as well. Sometimes they have live music or other arts on the weekends too.

We hope you enjoyed our trip!

Thanks for watching!

Contemporary Art and Fashion Taipei

2009-08-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

Day Three of our 'Taiwan's Best Trip' Journey started with a 5 hour bus ride from Tainan to Taipei. The high speed rail option almost 3x the price; and although it's about 3 hours faster, we were relying on the sleep time.

We got to Taipei around noon and checked in to our hotel. 'Budget' hotels in Taipei will still cost at least $50usd; there are other options - like private rooms in the hostels, but they're about cramped for two people. We would have chosen CityInn or the Dandy hotels - both very modern and artistic - or the hotel 72... but I booked too late and we were stuck with 'Welcome Hotel' - which was fine, but a bit overpriced.

We headed straight for the Taipei 101 area to find the Art 2009 fair and got a nice surprise - next door, also in the Taipei World Trade Center this weekend was the 'In Design' fashion show; a collection of works from the fashion departments of many of Taiwan's universities. This was perfect for our theme so we spent some time here before heading into the Art 2009 area.

I had come prepared with business cards and a portfolio, but was a little intimidated by the high-class gloss and glamor of the presented artworks. Something to grow into at any rate. We stayed late and didn't make it to Danshui as planned; Danshui is a beautiful area though - go if you get the chance, it's 35 minutes outside the city on MRT. We got lots of pictures of the art and fashion designs - watch our video to see!

Inspired Artists Day Two

2009-08-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

Today started with a late lunch at Tainan's best restaurant, 'Chikan' (named after the Chikan towers, which is just down the road. Specializing in traditional Taiwanese specialties, and with a very cool decoration scheme, this place is not to be missed. Visit their website: www.chikan.com.tw.

Next, we headed out to Anping. 'Old Street' in Anping is the oldest section of Tainan. Although the Dutch fort has been redone, there are several authentic monuments that are several centuries old. The 'tree house' and the Anping museum (near the elementary school) are nice places for pictures. Old Street itself is an artistic stretch of narrow alleyway, full of handicrafts, seashells, snacks and toy stores. On the weekends this place is packed, so avoid the rush. At the end of Old Street, (between the Anping Fort and the Guanyin Buddist Temple) the fun continues with about 100 stalls selling food, collectibles, and hosting carnival-esque games. It's kind of like a nightmarket, but open from pretty early. We found lots of traditional Asian art here; and surprising mix of ancient and modern symbolism.

After Anping we went through Haian Road. This area (near the JungJeng shopping area) is full of late night coffee/tea/snack shops. It's become extremely trendy - it's the place to hang out with friends late at night playing cards. Several years ago the city commissioned a series of murals by local artists. The project has grown and today there are a dozen pretty interesting art installations to visit; you'll find Taiwanese taking pictures here any night of the week.

If you don't like coffee, head up Gongyuan Road to the Amory - one of the oldest (and still very popular) bars in Tainan. The Armory has always been a friend of the arts, sponsoring exhibitions and live music performances. http://armorypub.com.tw/

We hope you enjoyed our brief tour of Tainan city. In a few hours we're getting on a 6am bus to Taipei. Can't wait!

Inspired Artists Day One

2009-08-28T06:20:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, after recent typhoon Morokot, much of Eastern and Southern Taiwan is inaccessible. Our plan was to start day one in Meinung to visit the Meinong Umbrella Factory, but the best we could find was a train-bus-taxi combination... and one website said, in effect, if you aren't bringing shovels to help dig, don't come.

(There's great info about the Meinong Umbrellas here and here. For directions, visit here.)

Add in the fact that yesterday we spent the day in the hospital (Funky tripped and got four stitches in her chin), and you'll understand why we've decided to let Meinong go and focus on Tainan for the first two days.

Day One Agenda: NCKU campus, Beimen Road, Confucius Temple, JungJeng shopping area.

National Cheng Kung University is a big promoter of the arts, and also has a beautiful campus. The 'banyan tree park' has become almost a national symbol... at any rate it's a beautiful place to relax and walk around. The university has only recently expanded it's arts program, commissioning about a dozen new sculptures (the campus looks like a 'statue park' there are so many of them around now). They also have a very nice, newly renovated art gallery.

The university campus is directly behind the Tainan train station (if you go out the back entrance and walk straight up the street, you'll get there.)

The next stop is Beimen Rd. Exit the front of the Tainan train station and turn left - this is Beimen. This is a shopping area full of cheap clothes, gadgets and novelties. There are a couple big bookstores. It's also a great place to buy electronics, or computers. Less known is that Beimen has a great arts supply store with everything you need; you can even order custom sized canvases (a large canvas will cost between 200~500nt). It's just about across from the Caves Bookstore.

If you're looking for a hotel, there are several budget hotels along Beimen (next to or across from Caves Books).

We drove past Gongyuan park (Gongyuan and Beimen Road) and headed to the area around the Tainan's Confucius temple.

The original Confucius Temple was completed in 1666, but some of it has been moved or restored. It is on Nanmen Road, near the Cultural center. The area around the temple is interesting; there are several art stores and boutiques. There used to be a gallery across the street but it has been shut down recently. Still, the long street facing the Confucius Temple is full of crafts and activities.

Finally, we did a little window shopping around JungJeng Street; near the intersection of Haian and JungJeng.

Taiwan trip Augsust update

2009-08-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

It's finally here! After all summer - and a devastating typhoon - Funky and I are about ready to do our trip to Meinung, Tainan and Taipei to look at art galleries, attend the Art Taipei 2009 convention, and do some shopping. We'll go next week and start uploading videos and pictures, both here and on the Taiwan's Best Trip Competition website.

Thanks in advance for you support and video hits!

Banking and name chops in Taiwan

2009-08-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

One of the nifty cultural differences in Taiwan (or Chinese culture) is the use of the chop - or a special stamp with the Chinese characters for your name on it. They are cute, fun, cool, and I spent countless hours when I arrived in Taiwan picking out special ones that reflected my personality. 6 years later, specifically yesterday when I went to the bank, I again noted what a huge, frustrating pain in the ass they can be.

You have to have a name chop to do any kind of business, sign forms, contracts, apply for bank/license stuff... not a huge deal, but they don't fit in your wallet, and if your house is as disorganized as mine, tracking one down in a hurry is emotionally taxing.

They used to let me use my thumbprint. Yesterday I finally got them to take a 'signature' - except for them, our signature (which should be a 'mark', fluid, illegible and difficult to forge) is gibberish. So I had to print my name clearly so they could read it - which of course is a huge security risk; thus the need for a name chop.

What am I really complaining about? That they can't just speak English and use signatures like the rest of the world? I had 4 other pieces of ID; a name chop could also be easily forged (although you're supposed to keep the same one FOREVER so that it is exactly the same - heaven knows what they do if they lose one, the new one wouldn't be valid I guess because it doesn't match the old one.)

I suppose it's the Chinese cultural affection for order, safety, regulation, and propriety over more functional concerns that really irks me. But whatever. Not wrong, just different, and I'm a (anxiety ridden) round peg surrounded by square holes.

Typhoon Morakot, 2009

2009-08-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

I got back to Taiwan just in time for the year's biggest Typhoon. Gusts of up to 112mph, lots and lots of rain - most people don't have to go to work or school, but I have a lot to do! So I got out my full body rain gear and went out shopping. I could drive about 20mph, and see 10 feet in front of me. Things went pretty well most of the time. A couple of times, the strength of the wind drove me into the divider between lanes and I'd get stuck; I just couldn't drive straight no matter what. But I made it to Carrefour, B&Q, and RTmart, where I bought the desk I'd been looking for. On the way back, things were less easy carrying the 4x4 foot box between me and the handles of my scooter. Twice I was surprised by people driving towards me (on the wrong side of the street) - although this is normal in Taiwan, doing it during a Typhoon when nobody can see is just freaking stupid.

Oh yeah, I also bought a pool for my backyard pool party next week - hope the weather gets better.

sony vaio

2009-08-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

Some pics of the Vaio I have for sale. 3GB, 140 GB storage.

Taiwan seizes cocaine-filled energy drinks!

2009-08-01T04:56:00.000-07:00

I'm home in America (land of fat, selfish people with big houses and cars). Today I had a RockStar Sugar Free Energy Drink, which unlike most other energy drinks including Red Bull, didn't make me sick. Rock on. I have to down 5 big cups of green tea to get anywhere near the caffeine content of coffee (which gives me Migraines); my RockStar has 80mgs. Recently I've been drinking tons of CokeZero, which is basically caffeine and chemicals (and not that much caffeine, actually, around 50mgs). Additionally RockStar has 1000mg of Taurine (which may improve liver function as a free radical), lots of vitamin B's, Gingko Biloba, Ginseng, Milk Thistle, and Guarana! I'm impressed.

So I tried to search and see if I can buy RockStar in Taiwan, because I'm going back next week and need a supply as a new devotee.

And in doing, I found this article.

Basically, Germany, being the healthy, discriminating EU country that it is, decided to ban "Red Bull Simply Cola," which is flavoured from decocainised coca leaves. I don't know why - but they were unconvinced that coca leaves without the cocaine were still fit for consumption.

Taiwan, and Hong Kong, hoping to jump on the band wagon, followed up by seizing a huge shipment of regular red bull - 17,165 cases Red Bull Energy Drink, valued at USD 781,000 - which doesn't have any coca leaves or anything else questionably illegal.

I found RockStar in Japan.... but so far not in Taiwan, and with the current energy drink debate, it may be awhile. Meanwhile it's 5am and I don't think I'll be able to sleep for days.

Our entry video

2009-06-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

OK - here's our video. I've uploaded it on YouTube and the official website. The soundtrack is Rilo Kiley (I should probably change it to something that's not copyrighted.) I wanted to put in a lot more but screw it. It gives you a sense of who we are.

2009-06-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

It's 5:31am - I can't sleep because the heavy Taiwan rains and thunderstorms have made my pillows musty... and because I went out dancing in Kaohsiung last night and didn't get home till 6am. So! Here are some photos of me and Funky, to keep visitors occupied. Tomorrow we'll make and upload a video. Funky and I are both 'struggling' artists, so the chance to get out there, interact with the real world (of fine art and fashion design, respectively) and make some connections would be great for us. By experiencing our trip "Contemporary Art and Fashion in Taiwan" with us, you'll get an insider's view to Taiwanese culture: from the traditional arts of historic cultural centers like Tainan and Meinung (paper umbrella and lantern painting, early Taiwanese architecture, temples, antiques, wood carvings, jade statues, brush paintings) to the modern contemporary art movements of Taichung and Taipei, (fashion design, design styles and organizations, and Taiwanese painters), you get to experience Taiwanese culture through its forms of artistic expression.

Check back for updates, and go vote for our tour of Taiwan's traditional and modern art.

Contemporary Art, Traditional Art, Taiwan

2009-06-19T12:22:00.000-07:00

I'm entering Taiwan's Best Trip competition. The Taiwan government is trying to increase tourism by letting teams plan a 4 day trip - the best trip gets to actually do their itinerary, and have it paid for! Moreover, the winning team could get 1,000,000nt ($30,000 USD) to use for a 1 month long tour of Taiwan. I really wanted to go to Penghu island this summer, and my first thought was of course to go there. Penghu is so relaxing and beautiful.

But - we need to have a strong 'theme'. I don't think "I want to go to _______ and hang out and have a good time and relax" would be a winning plan, so instead I'm focusing on traditional art and contemporary art. We'll start in Meinung for paper lantern and umbrella painting. Then Tainan for woodcarving, temple decorations, antiques and puppets. Finally up to Taipei to explore the real contemporary art scene. We'll hit all the big galleries, and even make it to the ART TAIPEI 2009 fair, a huge 3-day event featuring the best galleries and artists in Asia. Of course I'm going to be promoting my own paintings as well.

Funky will come with me, as a fashion designer, so she can also do some research on shopping and style trends in Taiwan. We need your vote:

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR US!

Literature Conference Taiwan

2009-06-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

I just came back from a literature conference and have some thoughts. First of all - conferences are stupid. They are a platform for academics to promote themselves and their papers, which were written only for conferences and have very little implication for anything or anybody else. Papers are delivered to a small crowd of students, who are most likely required to be there, and organizers. (At least - literature conferences in Taiwan although I suspect many conferences are like this in any field). The conference was about English teaching, globalization, and seeking out an authentic Asian Identity.

Globalization was used in the sense of 'East and West Dialogue and interaction' or 'cross fertilization of cultural identities.' This vision is a myth, a farce, a comforting lie.

The truth is that globalization is a one way phenomenon. In predominately white societies which are infiltrated by large immigrant communities, the particular customs and languages of the marginalized - even when they become the dominant group - do not often spread universally. Instead there are ghettos and neighborhoods where the imported foods, languages and customs are used. The white, middle-class, suburbs remainly thoroughly untouched.

Although western movies are interested in Asian things, (Asian cities, Asian culture, and Kungfu certainly) the cinematic production (and often cheap knock-off or Americanized stereotype) of 'Asian-ness' really more of a sell-out than a symptom of a deep respect for Asian way of living. Americans daily lives have not become more Asian; they are not offering three sticks of incense or burning ghost money. In other words they are not adopting any asian beliefs or values, just the external representations or visuals - the 'eye candy': Decoration to add an exotic flair, the hint of spice and mysticism and faraway places.

The same is not true in countries such as Taiwan, which is seeing a remarkable and sudden shift in values. "Globalization" has meant the proliferation of consumer mega-stores like Costco and Carrefour and ToysRUs, where Taiwanese can purchase the lifestyles they admire from TV, movies and magazines, and restaurants like Friday's and Burger King and Pizza Hut where they can ruin their health in the good ol' American way. The last few years have also seen an army of coffee shops which serve cake and sandwiches slowly replacing the ubiquitious tea stands. Huskies and golden retrievers, not native to the tropical island, are sold at high prices and bring with them a lift in social status, as do SUV's.

National identy for the Taiwanese is, historically, a complicated subject. There were some Chinese immigrants. Then there were the Dutch, then the Spanish and Portuguese, then the Chinese pirates, the Japanese, and finally Chiang Kai-Shek and his band of runaways from China's cultural revolution. When the Japanese were here, Taiwanese were taught Japanese language, customs and values. Cities were organized via a Japanese design. Buildings were built Japanese style. With Chiang Kai-Shek they become Chinese again, sort-of. Actually each generation is most likely a mix of various foreign influences - including to an extreme degree the modern youth, which is heavily influenced by Korean, Japanese and American cultures.

Nowhere is this modern confusion with authentic identity and values formation so prosaically (?) apparent than in the field of foreign language studies. Taiwanese study English literature or Asian American novels and at the same time ask themselves how they can strengthen their 'Asian Identity'. This aim is noble and well-noted: Asians need to study English to interact globally, but in doing so they risk losing their own Asian way of looking at the world. However - the lack of relevant English materials for contemporary Asian scholars (Asian as in living and working in ASIA. Not immigrants to the west, or 2nd or 3rd generation American Asians) has lead to the careful study and reproduction of critical ideas concerning topics that have little to do with modern issues actually confronting contemporary Asians. At the same time, 'Asian Identity' is being openly discarded by the majority of Asians, even those who can't speak Chinese. Traditional customs, ceremonies, styles of dress are all simply dying off. Perhaps, in cases where they were overly restrictive or sexist, for the better.

Adding a strange and bizzare twist to the conference - which while pretending to be about Asian Identity and globalization actually focused exclusively on Gish's the Love Wife, a story of Americans with Chinese blood but no Chinese heritage and adopted children from China - was the religious element.

One paper actually suggested using THE BIBLE for values formation in Asian countries!! This is, in my view, like kicking them while they're down. The Bible is absolutely a product of Western culture. Helping Asians 'find themselves' and their values using the Bible... well, it may not be as stupid as I think it is. But the idea that Asians can find their own culture or cultural values through the Bible is definitely ridiculous. Even more strange, was a paper on how Asians wanting to learn English could read Buddhist texts that had been translated into English. My brain hurts.

Life Changes

2009-06-02T01:49:00.001-07:00

Oops. I had 'finished' my MA in FLL at NCKU, practically, and already been accepted to the PHD program, when they told me I was ONE CREDIT SHORT! So I need an extra semester... however in order to get the Taiwan Scholarship like I want I actually have to wait until Fall 2010 to start my PHD. OMG! Basically, I have to wait a whole year just for one tiny freaking credit. That's stupid, and it sucks. On the other hand: I wasn't feeling happy about doing the same old thing anyway, I've been dreaming about travels and adventures and now that I have an extra year, I can work on some goals that aren't school related. And that's GREAT. 1) I'm getting healthy. Today I'm cooking a healthy chicken soup. I'm not eating sugar, bread, processed foods and lots of other bad things. 2) I'm determined to learn Chinese, at least more, so I don't feel like an idiot. 3) Now that I can't depend on the scholarship, I'll actually get a job and save some money 4) I want to go to Japan for a few months (probably teaching English), I also want to spend a month in India, and travel to China and Vietnam. These are all things I can do in this 'extra time'. If I have leftover time, I can improve my thesis, try to publish a book, have some exhibitions and.... rule the world? Who knows. But probably I need a bread from the paths and goals I've been relentlessly pursuing, to do some things just out of interest or fun.

Meanwhile, I've been reading Ayn Rand's "Virtue of Selfishness", which is concretely identifying some of the problems in my psychology and thinking, and urging me to chose a wiser, more intelligent lifestyle based on reason, not emotion. :)

Learning Chinese in Taiwan

2009-05-11T03:15:00.000-07:00

I've recently become determined to learn Chinese. I'm 'lower intermediate' now, I can talk on the phone and order things and introduce myself. I don't have any problems getting what I need which is why I haven't gone to the next level.

BUT: people judge your intelligence by your language ability. It's sad but true. So in my first couple years in Taiwan, people would say - "you've only been here how long and you can speak Chinese? You're so smart!" and now people say "You've been in Taiwan how long and you still can't speak Chinese?!" and I feel kind of dumb, which is humbling for me because I like to think of myself as a smart person. Ergo - time to study.

I just signed up for a private teacher from NCKU university (minimum 2hours a week, about 390nt an hour). That's a pretty sweet deal. So I'll do that plus 2 language exchanges and a lot of homework and see where that gets me.

For all the Tea in China

2009-05-11T03:07:00.000-07:00

I may have mentioned before about how Taiwan is experiencing a post-colonization period of western culture. Call it globalization or connectivity, but the manifestations of it are all things white and foreign becoming popular and common. SUV's, golden retrievers and huskies, the English language, camping, hiking and bicycling (is this chinese? Even when they buy the full-body bicycling suits?), red wine and cheese (about as non-asian as you can get), and of course the respect and deference given to (White) foreigners.

No where is this more readily seen than in the many coffee shops popping up around Tainan, Taiwan. Not just starbucks, of which there are many, but quaint independent little cafes that serve pasta, sandwiches and coffee. Of course, there are still millions of drive-away tea shops where you can get iced tea to go for 20nt, and nicer sit-down tea places with tea for around 70nt. But here's my problem: I'm addicted to green tea and like to have a cup before breakfast, before I eat anything. So I either have to go out and get a cup and come home again, or go out and sit and do my work somewhere where I can get it... and increasingly, places like this are hard to find!

I went around to the cafe shops around the university the other day and found only coffee and sometimes red tea (and of course, fruit smoothies, herbal teas and other exotic drinks). But c'mon! No green tea in Taiwan?? What the hell. Several times I'd sit down, look over the menu, and leave again. There's just nothing else I want first thing in the morning (which for me is around 1pm).

What do you think about the way Taiwan is turning white?

Summer English Camp in Tainan

2009-05-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've been busy! Finished my thesis for my MA literature at NCKU - now I'm working on a new business, a summer English camp program. I've got the space at NCKU so all I need are students. Tonight I snuck around putting up posters: it's easier to put them up if you don't have to ask and if there aren't many people around. That may seem dirty but I'm counting on an aspect of Taiwanese culture, which is:

Most Taiwanese employees don't have the authority to do anything, or make decisions on their own, and the bosses aren't usually around. If they don't already have a policy on posters, and if you ask them, they'll probably say "No" or "I don't know, ask my boss" - neither is good for me. But if you put them up at night, chances are nobody is going to care enough to remove them... at least that's my theory. I put them all over Tainan city, places where young kids hang out. Let's see how long they last! BTW - the link to the camp is www.ecc-ncku.com or www.englishculture community.com

Spring Scream Metal Detecting

2009-03-27T04:13:00.000-07:00

Ok - I've been busy. Update: I just applied for my PHD program in Foreign Language and Literature. This means
A) That I know a lot about living in Taiwan, Teaching in Taiwan, Studying in Taiwan and other things.
B) That I'm going to be here for a long time
C) That I'll be able to brag and show off because I have a fancy degree.
D) That I get to read a lot of books next year and hopefully be back on the Taiwan Scholarship.

I've been nothing but painting for the past several months....and I'm not quite ready to crank out my thesis before May and graduate in time. So - after a few parties this weekend, including my oil painting opening exhibition/cocktail event party, and after trying to finish a bit of editing work, I'm planning a 4 day camping trip down to Kenting, which will coincide with Spring Scream, Taiwan's biggest annual party. Mostly, I'm looking for an exciting time. But I will also bring down my Fisher Metal Detector and sweep the beaches. My goal is to find a couple pieces of pirate gold before the crowds come, and a few cameras, cellphones and diamond rings after they leave.

Art Exhibition in Tainan!

2009-03-21T16:06:00.001-07:00

Oh yes, it's an exciting year. I'll admit, I'm an awful blogger. It's a skill I'd like to develop. Luckily, I'm a damn good writer and a pretty interesting person. Next week I'm giving a speech about my art to 100+ undergraduate art students to open my art exhibition at NCKU. Frankly, that's amazing. In a few years (or sooner!) I'll be selling my paintings for thousands of dollars - and even if I don't, as an 'emerging artist' I can take advantage of some amazing art residency programs all over the world. I have my eye on one in Japan right now - a beautiful, huge studio space for 3 months ending with an exhibition. Wouldn't I love to do one of those every year!!

And fortunately, my paintings are unique, striking, interesting... and novel enough to stand out which is a pretty good thing.
Ok - they're strange. But they're the kind of thing that makes people think I must have some kind of vision or message. People want to know "WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!" and look to me to supply answers. That's a strong position to be in. What does it mean? Only that I have a sardonic, dark sense of humor and anti-religious tendencies.

Anyway - visit my art blog at www.derekmurphyart.com to see all my paintings!

Chinese Pod and Chinese Language Learning Software

2008-12-18T21:58:00.001-08:00

I've studied languages my whole life, and been an English teacher for the past 6 years; so I have a pretty good idea about how to learn languages. Specifically, I'm an independent student and therefore have enjoyed the rise of various language learning software and mp3/podcast courses that I can follow at my own pace.

Why software? While books are great for visual learners and classrooms, I find it much more difficult to sit down and study; it is just too easy not to. If you stick with books, then you need to set a time and preferably pay for a tutor or standard classes. But this post isn't about books, so moving on, here are the following high-tech language learning courses to learn Chinese quickly:

1) Rosetta Stone
Rosetta stone is a computer program for learning languages that follows a "pick the right flashcard approach". Surprisingly, this format is very versatile and even fun. It's a little like playing a video game. First, they'll show you each card and you listen to the corresponding word or sentence. Some pictures are repeated, for example, they might show you "a cat", and later "the cat is on the bed", and finally, "the black cat on the bed is smaller than the ugly dog under the chair," etc.

Then, they'll repeat the word or sentence and you pick the right picture. The software will helpfully keep track of your mistakes, and recycle lessons you need to work on. They even have voice recognition software built in that analyzes your pronunciation.

The drawbacks of Rosetta Stone are also it's strengths: it doesn't immediately focus on useful vocab. You learn a lot of trivial stuff, they way you learned your first language naturally, and then build up on it. You might not be able to say anything useful for a long time, and suddenly realize you've learned how to say absolutely everything; therefore if you want to really learn a language well, and can focus for about 45minutes a day (the average time to get through a standard lesson) Rosetta Stone is great.

Unfortunately - at somewhere around $200 if I remember correctly, it's not cheap. Their ad-campaign featuring a poor farmer in love with an Italian supermodel is fabulous if unrealistic; where'd he get the cash to buy not only the program but the computer to run it on? And shouldn't he be working?

2) Sybervision/Pimsleur
Pimsleur has been around for a long time - since the days of cassette tapes. :) My uncle used to run their marketing and so I got several sets to try out when I was a teenager. I used it to learn Spanish, German and French. Pimsleur is, in my mind, the ideal way to prep for a holiday abroad. There a 30, 30 minute lessons; one for each day. The content is very useful and very repetitive. It goes something like this: "Hello." "Ni Hao." Say hello in Chinese. "Ni Hao." Say it again. "Ni Hao". Listen again. Is your pronunciation the same as the native speaker's?. "Niiiiiii Haaaaoooooo." On and on.

It is perfect for absolute beginners and can bring you up to an intermediate level very quickly. (You would need Chinese 1, 2 and 3) to get to intermediate level.

Like Rosetta Stone, Pimsleur comes in all kinds of languages. A huge advantage, however, is that you can now get it on mp3 format (if you search hard enough, you can even find the mp3's for free on sites like Limewire.) This means you can listen to it while driving, while shaving, while painting your house or doing the yard work. It's just so easy. Again, Pimsleur is highly recommended for useful, specific language tools that you would need on a holiday or business trip, like booking hotels, going out for a drink, or dealing with problems.

3) www.chinese-course.com

Worth mentioning is Chinese-course.com. Due to my learning style preference, I enjoy their sentence-based teaching method. They give you a big, long, challenging real world sentence both in English and Chinese characters. You can listen to it being said, and isolate each character. You can add characters from the sentences into your personalized "practice words" and set the sentence frequency to your liking. There is a small charge for higher membership levels.

Chinese course is probably best for an already intermediate student who wants to learn some very useful, general comment-type sentences about life, politics, global warming, appearances and other topics. This is a Taiwan based company so they use traditional Chinese characters.

http://www.chinese-course.com/

4) Chinese Pod
And finally - my current favorite - Chinesepod.com.

Chinese pod offers a bunch of 'podcasts', or mini-mp3 lessons. Each 10 -15 minute lesson (or less) offers a dialogue, story, joke or something else of interest, probably based around a topic. The two commentors then discuss, joke and break down the conversation, isolating tricky vocab and grammar, commenting on cultural background and life in China (they are based in Shanghai) and generally having a good time. What makes Chinesepod so refreshing is that, rather than a boring Chinese lesson, the dialogues are usually useful and interesting, and the commentators are informal and fun to listen to.

I like to 'let it run' and listen to about 10 in a row. They have I think at least a couple hundred lessons for each learning level (beginner, intermediate, advanced etc.), so you could really learn all sorts of great stuff without running out of materal.

I love having my hands free to do whatever I need to be doing, and playing Chinese pod in the background. (I've been in Taiwan six years without breaking into the 'upper intermediate' level; and yet alternative forms of study haven't been attractive enough to stick with them. All my books are gathering dust.)

Go check them out - I believe they also do other languages as well and I can only assume that they're great as well.
Chinesepod.com.

No sheets in Taiwan

2008-12-18T06:14:00.000-08:00

I give up. I went to bedding stores looking for regular, western style sheets. White ones. They don't exist. In Taiwan you buy a big bedding set, but they are all patterned. White sheets are just used for hospitals.

I did find a single fitted sheet for about $40, but that's more than I'd like to spend.

At any rate, I've decided to buy online from Amazon and get them sent.

Christmas Trees in Taiwan!

2008-12-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

Amazing - for the first time ever, Taiwan is selling real Christmas trees. Even more exciting, they're from my home state, Oregon! You can pick up a 2 meter fir tree at B&Q for 2000nt.

Sweet!

Links to CafePress Products

2008-12-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

The following are my CafePress pages - you can order prints or cool stuff with my paintings on them.

FirstCommunion
Cafe au Lait
Final Markdown
GirlScoutCookies
ManPot
HandWich
Intimacy
Idolatry
Handtie
Petra
OnTheThrone
HappyMeal
Manog
Glass
JesusLastSupper
Masked
Handz
SafeSex
Gesthemene
RedGirl
MaryDoody
BriefCase
BrownFields
ChinaGirl
TrueLove

I love Taiwan!

2008-12-12T04:04:00.001-08:00

I'm ecstatic. My life in Taiwan is a dream. Today I edited for a couple of hours; easy, at home work listening to music and having a leisurely lunch. The weather is beautiful. I can hear the meditative sound of running water from the carp pond in my garden. Two hours work (around $50) a day gives me enough money to live comfortably here. In the afternoon I went shopping for furniture at 2nd hand stores - I have a huge loft on the 3rd floor of my house and am going to turn it into a home theater. Yesterday I'd found a set of three couches for $200, but today I did better. I'm deciding between a black, floral L-shaped set that looks like it came from a dance club, or a pair of large red leather sofas. I could get either set for about $125. In the same store, I found a brand new foosball table (my favorite game!!) and will buy that tomorrow. They will deliver the furniture and carry it up to the 3rd floor for no extra charge. There was also a beautiful hard wood antique table (the kind that you can extend to make larger), also for $125 - it's a steal but unfortunately I don't have anywhere to put it.

On the way home, I stopped for an hour-long Chinese foot massage ($20), a box of rice and veggies, and a beautiful new Sony Ericsson phone because my phone was out of batteries.

I've been shopping for a projector but have decided to wait until Chinese New Year. That will give me time to finish my thesis... in the meantime I have plenty to do with fixing up the house, preparing my research, editing and painting for my exhibition in April.

The Evolution of Taiwan Pirate

2008-11-14T17:51:00.000-08:00

Derek Murphy has gone corporate. I've spent the last month making some new websites, which can be found here:
www.derekmurphyart.com
www.holyblasphemy.net
www.paper-perfect-editing.com

They aren't perfect, but they're unique and look pretty good and give me a platform from which to cast my more professional ideas. I don't, however, have anywhere to talk about cool personal things like searching for treasure in Taiwan, so I think I'll keep this blog on the side.

In the news the other day, somebody from (somewhere in Europe? I'm too lazy to double-check) found a bunch of old gold and silver coins from about 100bc. That's fantastic. How much was the cache worth? A couple hundred thousand. However, he warns that metal detecting is a hobby and not likely to every make one rich. My thoughts exactly. It's all too easy for me to dream of treasure in Taiwan, and I'll still keep looking, but Taiwan has seen so much construction and recontruction that the ground is full of old machine parts and such.

At any rate - I'll keep looking so keep checking back for a blog post that looks like this one:
"$100,000,000 worth of gold bars discovered in by expat in Taiwan!!"

New editing and proofreading site.

2008-11-06T23:56:00.001-08:00

I've migrated my site after discovering my host 247-host is almost always down. My new editing site is mypaperperfect.com.

America is second pig!

2008-09-23T13:38:00.001-07:00

Watching a video of the floods in America, Funky asks - "are all your houses made of wood?" She's incredulous, because houses and building in Taiwan are made of thick concrete. I realize that America is the second pig, who built his house out of sticks -- so easy for the big bad wolf (or disasters caused by global warming) to blow away.

What is linguistics? The ruination of the English language

2008-06-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned before that I don't like linguistics, but as my feelings towards the subject are once again enflamed, and there is no other outlet than this blog, I'll continue on the subject.

What is linguistics? In general, it is the study of sounds, signs and signifiers that make up language. It is the study of language (ie vocal communication) in and of itself. Not an actual language per se - not grammar or spelling, but processes that make language possible.

Linguistics is a pretty recent field. Its increased popularity is due to the internationally recognized need to communicate in a global society. English is becoming the 'international language', and many countries, hoping to speed up their English-learning-programs, are focusing on linguistics - studying why and how students make mistakes, for example, in order to help them avoid those mistakes. This may seem like a smart move.

It is not.

Languages have been learned for hundreds of years. There are many ways to learn a language, but sustained immersion is the way to go (repetition, listening, speaking, etc.) It is a natural human faculty to learn languages. Learning linguistics (a field of study about languages) will not improve your ability to learn one specific language.

Because of the exciting trend - linguistics is a popular field, students abroad are studying it instead of English! These are non-native speakers, who rather than study English and improve their own pronunciation, writing or communication, do 'scientific studies' of linguistic phenomena. In Taiwan, for example, students and professors study whether Taiwanese students who study Spanish and then English make certain mistakes because their L2 influenced their L3. This may be interesting. It may be fascinating. But who cares - outside of the linguistics balloon that is self-sustaining.... the research does not make their students learn English better or faster. Awareness and understanding of the influence of L2 on L3 does not allow teachers to teach with enhanced subtlety. Actual teaching remains more or less the same, and is almost never done by the linguistic majors! Instead, linguistic majors get degrees in 'applied linguistics' and teach 'applied linguistics' to others.

Studying education or classroom management - and equally important, polishing your English to the point where you actually can speak it fluently - are so much more important. If Taiwan or Japan wanted to encourage their English, they should have government funded English schools (rather than the cram schools) and send their teachers for training overseas.

Parents who want their kids to learn English should send them to English summer camps. (2 months in a summer would be more effective than a whole year screaming and playing games in cram schools in Taiwan - well...maybe).

I - elitist that I am - am studying classics and philosophy. I will teach literature courses and not be able to apply for the best jobs because I didn't study applied linguistics. And that's sad and wrong.

I'm a bird without a nest.

2008-04-07T02:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I put my pants on. They were wet. We'd turned on the AC late at night because the weather has turned stiflingly hot, and shut the door to the patio - forgetting that we'd just gotten a cat and the litterbox was outside. The cat had peed in my pants. Nearly 12 hours later, when we were rushing to pack some things for the moving truck I'd demanded we call (Funky wanted to wait so we could pack things more carefully) we discovered that the cat had also pooped in Funky's bag. She'd just had a wisdom tooth pulled so all in all, a bad weekend for Funky.

The cat, incidentally, has temporarily replaced the dog I've been wanting to get. A foreigner had her and she needed a home asap... we saved her from being put to sleep. She's not a bad cat, but dogs are better.

Today I locked myself out of my apartment, and the spare key isn't hidden like it should be. In the past I've gone up to the top floor, climbed across the roof and landed on the upstairs balcony to get in. I tried this again, but the people who live in the upstairs apartment were there. They thought I was a prowler and chased after me. I couldn't convince them that I really did live there and had forgotten my keys. I was carrying a load of stuff to take to my new house and they thought I'd stolen it. I managed to get away... but I'm still keyless, my cellphone is inside as well, so I'm just waiting until I can hopefully meet up with my roomate and get him to let me in.

I do have a paper due tomorrow, and I did bring my laptop and the sources I need, so I'm at a nice cafe where I can work on it.

I've been awfully busy. I went to the dentist again today - she's been trying for weeks to finish up a root canal (the nerve is deep...makes the place under my nose feel funny). I also went to the hospital to finish the health check I need for the part-time job I'm going to start. I was there for an hour, running around, talking to a dozen people, before finding the two important people with the special stamps that I needed stamped. (One behind the cashier counter, and one in the mail room.) I hate that place.

Did I mention its really hot? The new house doesn't have any AC's yet...I'll have to buy some. It is looking better though.

painting

2008-03-17T11:12:00.001-07:00

I’m doing a whole slew of painting, drinking black label whiskey, listening to hard rock music, and getting sweaty with a brush in my mouth and one behind my ear. Damn I’m cool. You can see my progress on my blog. http://derekmurphyart.blogspot.com/

Apartment hunting

2008-03-17T10:48:00.002-07:00

Now that I’ve got two empty rooms in my 4 bedroom house, I’m thinking of moving again. It sucks to pay all the extra, and even though it would be a pain to move, I don’t really like my apartment that much anyway. The FengShui is terrible and the ceilings in my room are too low. Plus its just too huge to clean and I’ve accumulated a lot of crap...moving is easier than dusting. The best find today was an old Taiwanese house for 4,500nt (about $150 usd). The 2nd floor apartment is ugly, but the third floor was pretty neat. Strange, but with a couple big rooms, lots of light, and a bizzare little bungalow with a ladder, like a barn loft. It would be too scary to sleep there but I need a lot of storage. As I may be out of Taiwan for months at a time next year (Japan, Korea, Mexico, Peru....) a nice cheap place would be great. The drawback is that whoever lives on the top floor has to cut straight through the 2nd floor apartment, which is kind of wierd for whoever’s living there, and there’s no door to separate the top floor which means its wide open for somebody else to come snooping.

However, its fun to look. For about 7,000 ($200usd) I could get a big place with a couple bedrooms, maybe rent one out. For 10,000 ($300usd), I could get a massive-pimped-out-shiny-new-kickass place. I could rent one of the extra bedrooms and I’d be paying as much as I would in the small one. So.... that’s what I’m leaning towards. It’s still better than what I’ve got now, which is over $500usd (17000nt)...sure it’s a deal when I’ve got all the rooms rented out, but I end up eating the extra bills or rent when someone moves out.

200 ghosts

2008-03-17T10:48:00.001-07:00

Funky's mom has a hurt knee. The doctors couldn’t do anything so she went to a spiritualist. He told her that she’s being haunted by 200 ghosts of her deceased family members. Apparently, she somehow found the grave of one of them and moved them to a better grave. Now, all the rest of them have come to her house, too. The ’doctor’ says she needs to go find and dig up the 200 bodies and move them all - but a shared burial plot is OK, just as long as they’re recognized. What a pain in the ass! Apparently, however, ghosts won’t follow you if you have to a foreign country. You’re "off the radar". Sweet!! So I’m ghost free I guess.

Terrible Hit and Run Video

2008-03-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

This is the world's worst hit and run video....shocking and disturbing; not only because the woman flies through the air, but more importantly, because she is ignored and left for dead by others who witness the accident.

2008-01-26T08:15:00.001-08:00

Guess who's Hello Kitty? My students (at ALV winter camp) dressed me up this way for a fashion show. Lots of fun!

Shelley Clark Fan Club

2008-01-06T11:38:00.001-08:00

I'm in Taiwan watching a spelling bee on ESPN - and there's a girl from Tigard Oregon named Shelley Clark. Shelley, you rock! Don't feel bad about getting out on that last one, I couldn't have spelled it either.

Noise pollution in Taiwan

2007-12-01T23:38:00.000-08:00

If you haven't lived in Taiwan, you don't know what noise is.

It's a lovely Sunday afternoon. I took a bike ride out to buy some food and got stuck in the traffic behind a religious procession. In the west, we picture spirituality as a somber, dignified, personal activity. In Taiwan, the idea is to make so much goddamn noise that the gods can't possibly ignore you. (Well, this isn't exactly true, in Taiwan they bring the 'gods' and the religious icons out of the temples are parade around, so they are actually making all that goddamn noise so that you don't ignore the gods.)

Picture 50 teenager boys with 8foot long trumpets (with 12inch bells for stronger vibrations) 15 10foot drums, 20 10foot gongs, about 100 whiny Asian clarinets, all hooked up to loudspeakers plugged into a massive battery that they wheel around on a cart behind the procession.

Now picture this going by your house at 6:30 am, and winding up and down all the streets of your city until mid-afternoon. There is simply no escaping the noise.

That's not to mention the 'firecrackers' (ie sticks of dynamite) that they set off by the thousands. Just now I swear the were setting off anti-aircraft mortars. I could see the puffs of gray smoke in the air, and feel the vibrations as the shockwave from the explosions pounded through the city blocks.

WOW.

TESOL/Linguistics: The Blind Leading the Blind

2007-11-30T09:39:00.000-08:00

Have I mentioned recently that linguistics is the final degeneration of human progress? The lowest form of education possible? It's upsetting that it is so wildly popular: everyone wants to learn English. So they get a bunch of white people and train them in linguistics and TESOL, because there is an assumption (which I disagree with) that learning a lot of little symbols about all the various forms of mistakes non-native speakers can make and studying students not-yet-perfect accent will somehow get them to learn how to speak English well. It's absolutely ridiculous.
1) It's teacher-centered rather than student centered
2) It focuses on the mistakes and gives them power as autonomous modes of communication
3) It produces English teachers who know everything about the linguistic production of English but nothing of any value

Universities like to hire MA's or PHD's in linguistics to teach English to their students. This is a severely flawed notion. While linguistics or TESOL might be helpful to native-speaking ESL teachers, it is emphatically not helpful, nor useful, to any non-native student's wanting to learn how to speak English. Rather than read great English literature, study English grammar, or improve their fluency, they learn linguistics and do linguistic studies of their own "Meta-Language" (read: bad pronunciation).

There are thousands of these students, all over the world, studying Linguistics and TESOL simply because, the MA's and PhD's studied Linguistics and TESOL. They don't know anything else. So what you get is whole countries of academics studying the linguistic composition of a foreign language, their non-native English. And yet often their speaking and writing is terrible. And they will go on to teach "English" to others - by teaching linguistics and TESOL.

It almost makes me furious. It's so futile and self-defeating and inane and bureaucratic, absolutely senseless in every way. Brilliant minds solving problems that DO NOT NEED to be solved.

People have been learning languages since we began speaking them. People CAN learn 2 or 3 languages, and learn them well. They did it long before there was ever such a thing as TESOL or Linguistics. Without a doubt, my students studying Literature will learn to use English, not to dissect it and ruin it. And yet, I see myself having trouble finding work because the emphasis is so much on linguistics rather than literature.

Spanish test and Taiwan's friendly people

2007-11-29T23:22:00.000-08:00

What a day. I have a cold and am always irritable when my nose is stuffed up. My girlfriend woke me up early for a ride to the train station and I missed out on several hours of sleep I had been counting on; today was a very important Spanish exam day.

Tangent: I've been trying to convince my university to let me test out of my language requirements. They finally were persuaded, and I spent the last two days trying to re-learn the Spanish that I picked up in Argentina over 10 years ago. All things considered, I think I did pretty well, but a lot can go wrong with language tests. What if I got all the words right but the accents wrong? What if I got the verbs right but used past preterite instead of past imperfect tense? We'll see how they choose to grade it.

Anyway...I'm sick and its cold and its a sunny day - back to my morning story about Taiwan's friendly people. On a OCD infatuation I felt I needed a bigger TV, and last night I found a used one (huge) for $150. Did I need it? No. But it seemed like such a good deal! So, today I was trying to figure out how to buy speakers for it. This is something people do. They buy speakers for TV's. I have a set of old speakers, but I was willing to buy new ones.

I went to RT mart, the nearest supermarket, and asked in my passable Chinese. "I have this (TV) and I have that (Speaker) I want use together, how can I use together? What do I have to buy? The first guy in the electronics department answered my question and I said OK, but then he said "Wait" and he went to ask a co-worker. (The problem is that TV speakers don't plug into TV's, they plug into sound-boxes that plug into TV's. Or - they have a little green audio plug like computers, but I didn't think my TV has that. So the answer I got was "impossible. Can't do it." That's a silly answer. Of course I can find a way to connect speakers to a TV. And he read the incredulous look on my face as incomprehension - so he went to find someone who spoke ENGLISH.)

First, he brought a loud, sociable co-worker whose English was much worse than my Chinese and I ignored her. Then he brought a woman who was married to a man who lived in California and spoke some English. (I think they used the broadcast system to say "will anyone who speaks English please come to the electronics department?")

I explained to her, in Chinese, (but slower this time) what I wanted, and she passed that along in Chinese, to the crowd of employees gathering. They gave her answers (the same ones that I heard before) in Chinese (which I understood) and then she translated into English (how helpful.)

Then her husband came along who spoke English very well. At this point it would be rude to refuse his help so I spoke to him in English. We chatted for awhile about the USA, I asked my questions again but more specifically, and got the same answers (but was directed to another store at least) and thanked everybody for the help and left.

YES - Taiwanese people are extremely HELPFUL. They want to FIND HELP FOR YOU. But they often lack the confidence, self-esteem and competence to listen to you and help you themselves. To be fair, my Chinese isn't great. Even at the other store, the employees kept saying "Maybe this...but I'm don't understand what you want." However....the problem was simple and pretty clear. I had two physical objects to point to and gesture with, as well as lots of cords to dangle emphatically. Anyway....

Studying abroad in Taiwan.

2007-11-10T02:24:00.000-08:00

I've started using "squidoo", yet another blog page. Don't know much about it except it's supposed to be a way to share practical information...my first post is about studying abroad in Taiwan with the Taiwan scholarship

http://www.squidoo.com/studyintaiwan/

Since this blog is about Taiwan, I'll post the whole thing here, too.

If you want to get an undergraduate or postgraduate degree in an exciting, beautiful country - without paying for it, this article is for you!

Discover why thousands of students from all over the world are flocking to Taiwan, and how you can get involved before the opportunity is gone.

The Taiwan Scholarship

Get your undergraduate or graduate degree in Taiwan for less

During my first several years teaching English in Taiwan I heard rumors about an amazing scholarship program run by Taiwan's Ministry of Education. Free tuition, a generous stipend, and a post-graduate degree in only two to four years. Specific details were hard to come by, but nearly everybody had met someone who, when asked what they did in Taiwan, kind of giggled and said "Oh, nothing. I'm not working right now." However, finding relevant information about studying in Taiwan under the Taiwan Scholarship can be elusive and overwhelming. This article is a user's guide to getting accepted into the graduate school of your choice, and federally funded during your stay.

The Taiwan Scholarship is a program designed to increase the number of foreign students in Taiwanese Universities, so that Taiwanese students will have a multi-national, bilingual university education. In my opinion, it's a smart move by Taiwan's Ministry of Education, who recognize that the increasing number of graduates may soon overwhelm Taiwan's workforce. This is great news for foreigners who like Taiwan but are tired of teaching English and would like to further their education. That's not to suggest that the programs in Taiwan aren't challenging. Nor can you assume that getting accepted is a piece of cake - a mistake I made applying to NCKU the first time in 2006. But with the right information and a little hard work, the Taiwan Scholarship can be a dream come true.

How do I apply?
The application process is two-fold:

You can apply for the Taiwan scholarship from February to March each year. You must mail the application and the required documents to a Taiwan Embassy in your home country. Part of the application is a "study plan", so you should already have an idea of what you want to study. For a post-graduate degree, this implies doing academic research on a problem in your field that you'd like to solve. Make sure you familiarize yourself with the studies being done internationally, as well as the research being pursued at the Taiwanese university you'd like to attend. You will also be asked for a list of the universities that you are applying to.

The application processes and deadlines for Taiwanese universities vary. Go into their website and download all the necessary materials. You will probably need a prior degree, transcripts, letters of reference, pictures, a statement of purpose and a study plan. Universities only accept a limited number of foreign students each year, so make sure you have a strong application. Let them know you are genuinely interested in the field by doing some research and getting yourself up-to-date. Don't go in as a clean plate asking for a free ride.

If they like your application material, you may be called in for an interview around May or June. This can be grueling. You'll most likely sit down in front of half a dozen Professors and asked challenging questions like "Why don't you get a degree from your own country?" They are just trying to rattle you and test your ability to think and speak clearly under pressure.

Once you get accepted, you can notify the Taiwan Embassy that you sent your Taiwan Scholarship Application to, and then they will decide whether or not you will receive the scholarship.

How much do I get?
If you get the Taiwan Scholarship, you will get 25,000NT a month for an undergraduate degree, or 30,000NT for MA and PH.D students. (30,000nt is about $1,000 USD) The money will be deposited into a Post Office bank account. However, you may still have to pay tuition, which ranges from 60,000NT - 100,000NT a year.

Even if you don't get the Taiwan scholarship, most universities offer their own financial assistance, which generally includes free tuition and roughly 10,000NT a month to help with living expenses.

This money relieves you of the necessity to work for a living, but you'll have to budget your time and be self-motivated enough to do the work, which can be challenging. Some foreigners manage to teach English as well and can save up some extra money.

What programs are offered?
You can apply for any program at the University. Keep in mind, as you infiltrate classrooms that have never been visited by a foreigner, you might at first be a distraction. Some professors are not thrilled, after teaching the same material for 30 years, to have a spotlight cast on their rusty English abilities. The programs that specifically target foreign students, such as Linguistics or the MBA, and larger universities with many international applicants, will be better equipped to handle foreign students. This isn't to say that being the only foreigner at a smaller University wouldn't be a great experience - only that you'll have to go with the flow and not lose your cool when the inane bureaucracy of Taiwanese Universities seems crippling.

My Chinese isn't so good, can I study in English?
Taiwan's National Universities are striving towards a full English curriculum, but in reality the level of English will depend upon the professor, the students and the course. In most classes, the reading and material may be in English, but the explanations and lectures could be in Chinese. (However, if you're sitting in the front row looking confused, they may make a concerted effort to speak English, which is precisely what you're there for.)

If you are studying the "Full English MBA" offered by many Universities, or Linguistics or English Literature in a Foreign Language department, chances are good that you'll be pretty comfortable. If you want to study Art or Engineering or Gastroenterology, you may need to take Chinese classes on the side to keep up.

Will a post-graduate degree from Taiwan be recognized abroad?
If you want to use a graduate degree from Taiwan to get a job teaching in a Western country like Canada or America, you may have some trouble. America in particular has been loathe to accept degrees from abroad. However, times are changing. The world is becoming smaller and some Western countries are starting to become aware of the outside world, including countries like Taiwan, whose students consistently score higher on aptitude tests than their Western counterparts. The degree itself is fading in importance to factors like personality, international experience and teaching methods, and a degree from Taiwan may be just the sparkle that sets your application apart and lands you the job.

On the other hand, if you want to use your degree to keep teach overseas, it's a mixed bag. The very finest Universities often want the best, and at present that stereotype is consistently Western. A post-graduate degree from America or Canada may open doors that a degree from Taiwan will not. However, Before decide where to study your undergraduate or postgraduate degree, evaluate the pro's and con's carefully. Do you need to be the number one professor at the World's Best University, solving the complex questions of the Universe, or would you be just as happy working at a mid-range University? Also think about what you want to use your degree for - an MBA from Taiwan for example (learning Chinese on the side) could significantly boost your career opportunities.

Regardless of where you choose to study in Taiwan, you can expect the warm hospitality of the Taiwanese to make your life easier. Teachers are patient and understanding, and your classmates will be exceedingly helpful.

Taiwan Ministry of Education's Website is http://www.edu.tw/. Click on "English", and then "Scholarships".

A lot of Taiwanese universities also advertise on http://www.tealit.com

Building up steam

2007-10-02T23:39:00.000-07:00

Well it's settled: I only have 2 classes this semester. I'm allright on credits because I worked hard last year but still feel super lazy. I go to school Monday and Tuesday afternoon - and that's it. What a great life. The good thing is I have a ton of reading to do, and also need to finish my old websites and build a couple of new ones.

I'm starting an online copyediting company. www.perfect-english-editing.com It's almost ready, just need to translate it, print some posters and business cards, and voila! With only a few Taiwanese universities using my services, I should have enough work....forever. Work that I can do anywhere with a wireless connection.

The other element of this master plan is that I'm smuggling myself into a courier position - if they need something sent they'll call me up and say "you need to fly to Mexico/Israel/Germany tomorrow" And I get to keep the mileage! It'd be a dream job for me, I like flying anyway. I could a few days in all the countries I visit and save enough miles to travel for free.

Cambodia

2007-09-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

Angkor Wat has for years been one of the few places in the world I dreamed of visiting. I bought a ticket from Kuala Lumpur to Siem Reap for about $150. From the airport (I had to buy a visa on entry for $20) I paid $1 for a motorcycle ride into the city - good thing I packed very lightly. My motorcycle driver pretended to search for the hostel I'd booked a reservation at, but "couldn't find it" and brought me somewhere else where he had connections and would probably get a finder's fee. They even told me my hostel had closed down, a blatant lie I found out, but that's not a big deal. The hostel I found was $5 a night, but after walking around I found a MUCH better please for only $8, with cable TV, two twin beds and hot water.

Although I wanted to get rid of my driver, he stuck around until he'd convinced me to hire him for three days, paying $50 altogether. (That's way too much for a motorcycle guide. It only costs $12 a day for a tuk-tuk, which are more comfortable to ride in anyway.) He took me to get my 3-day instant picture ID pass, and took me to my first ruin at sunset. For those who don't know, the temples of Cambodia are remnants of the Khmer civilization, which was at its peak about 1,000 years ago. The temples were abandoned and lost until discovered by French explorers.

The next three days was a blur of temples. Luckily I met a nice Korean girl, also traveling alone, so I had some company and someone to help me take pictures. At every temple are hordes of locals trying to sell souvenirs. It is generally the children who are put up to this task, something which many foreigners can't stand. Although they could get annoying, I was amazed at the Cambodian kids. They were so intelligent! They could speak several languages, and had an armada of tricks to get you to buy their bracelets/guidebooks/bronze statues or whatever.

"Hey Mister, you buy this Ok?"
No thanks.
"You go in, come back then you buy Ok?
No.
"If you buy, you buy only from me Ok?"
Ok.

They would ask your name and remember you until you came back their way again, and they would remember what you promised you might buy. They would also ask where you came from, and tell you the Capitol of your State or Country.

"If I know the capitol of Madagascar, then you buy, OK? Do you know the capitol of Madagascar? If you don't know, then you buy OK?"

The girls were generally better at this, pouting or laughing or manipulating at whim, instantly judging up tourists and knowing how to appeal to them. The boys would just get angry and repeat plaintively, "You buy? You buy? You buy?" No tact.

If you ask why they aren't in school, suddenly they say, "I don't speak English!" Someone has been training them good, because they all knew the correct formula for any response.

"But I don't want a bamboo-flute!"
"Oh, buy for your friends!"

Cambodia has had the misfortune of quickly becoming a tourist destination almost before they had a real country or government. Most of the roads aren't paved, nearly everyone outside of the tourist industry are farmers, providing for themselves. And then there are still the thousands of landmines spread throughout the country, creating perpetual hazard.

Siem Reap was a tourist town, filled with markets, internet cafes, photo shops and hotels. They also had AMAZING restaurants and I want to go back just to eat more.

I was there just 5 days, then I took a 12 hour bus to Bangkok so I could fly back to Taiwan.

Malaysia

2007-09-07T22:11:00.001-07:00

I went to Kuala Lumpur this summer to watch my friend Nick jump off of the KL Tower. The "2007 KL Tower International Jump" was a huge event, overwhelmingly publicized as part of Malaysia's 50th anniversary celebration, highlighting a theme of "Unity and Harmony" to promote Malaysia's cultural diversity.

Malays, Indians, Chinese and Arabs live side-by-side in Malaysia, using any number of languages to communicate with, bargaining and arguing but otherwise living peacefully. (I have my doubts that the peace wouldn't end with the strong economy, but that's the same everywhere.) Nick's sky-diving buddies were great and, although I settled into a cheap hostel the first day, I ended up staying on the couch at their hotel, which was right across the street from the KL Tower.

The KL Tower is the 4th largest communications tower in the world. It is also the only Tower to open itself to the sport of base jumping once a year; 100 jumpers from all over the world came to KL to spend a week jumping, shopping and drinking - fitting nicely with their tourism campaign of "Visit Malaysia" 2007. The only thing I didn't like about Malaysia was the hype. They have the most heinous tourism propaganda I've ever seen. "Malaysia - TRULY Asia" is their main slogan on TV advertisements. Of course China doesn't need that kind of propaganda. Everybody knows where the great wall is. Unfortunately, Malaysia is one of the least Asian countries I've ever seen. I ate a lot of great Indian food. I was harassed at the markets by the pushy Arabic sellers. (Not their fault - that's their selling style. Same in Egypt or anywhere else, except they're selling Hong Kong junk.)

The day before the jump we took a one hour taxi ride to an enormous tourist hub up on top of a mountain - an indoor mall with an amusement park and tons of other things, including a wind tunnel. Only $6 a minute or something like that which I'm told is a deal. I did allright, for having very little experience. I could keep myself stable...just couldn't really control where to go. The 2nd time around, I was getting tired and desperate - I couldn't get out by myself and there was no way to call for help! The experienced instructor grabbed me, spun me up and down and all around, and then tossed me through the door. Good man.

The first day of the Jump I picked up a Media pass that I held on tightly to for the remainder of the event, which allowed me full access to the building, to go up to the rooftop and strap on a harness and sit on the edge of the 980 foot platform the jumpers used to catapult themselves into space. At night we'd go for full bodied massages or bars. We went to a nice hotel buffet one night, with an open bar, and caused a ruckus - standing on tables and throwing sugar packets. (Not me of course).

It was nice to see Nick a part of something so big - jumpers were treated like VIP guests, star athletes, and cultural ambassadors. As they should be: BASE jumping is amazing...and dangerous. They have good gear, and they play safe, and they don't have a death wish, but when you've got only a few seconds before you hit the ground, anything unexpected can actually kill you. There were a few accidents, but nothing serious. More alarming to me was that people were jumping who only last week had broken an arm, a leg or a back. Hardcore.

But who am I to judge. They had a great time, I would try it too if I could get more skydives first.

Beach Bitch

2007-08-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm in Korea for the summer working at a university camp. I have to wash my meat and vegetables off in a cup of water to get the thick layer of hot sauce off of them before I can manage to eat them. Ah, Korean food. No msg though, which is terrific.

Today I was teaching my university students about preferences. "Ask your partner an 'either/or' preference question." One of the students was trying to say what I thought was "Do you prefer bitch girl or warm heart girl"...but he was pronouncing it like "Beach" so I wrote "Bitch" on the board, had the class practice the contrast in pronunciation between Beach and Bitch, and finally explained that he probably wanted to say "Easy Girl" rather than "Bitch", because in America, unlike some other countries, Bitch just means evil, mean, or rude; not necessarily a whore. After all that, it turns out he was trying to say "Do you prefer a RICH girl or a warm hearted girl", (ie love or money). Oops. My bad.

My favorite student writes crazy journals. She writes things like "I slandered someone today," or "I'm a good-for-nothing." Her comment for the yearbook was "I hate you but I'll try to like you." Awesome. They write KKK at the end of entries to show humor the way we would draw a happy face. KKK is the sound they make when they giggle.

It's been raining for several days and things are being to seem illusory, like the paint of the world is running down the canvas of life, blurring the sharply defined boundaries of reality. Time is slipping by. Our schedule is botched beyond my comprehension due to an indefinately postponed allday field trip, but I can manage teaching hour by hour, activity by activity. I can rest a little on the weekend. I found an amazing sushi restaurant in nearby Jinju, as well as a cute oriental pub with Strawberry flavored rice wine by the jar. Then its one more week, a flight to Taipei, a night in Tainan, and a vacation in Malaysia.

Poker Champion!

2007-07-31T16:33:00.000-07:00

As we're all confined on campus during the week, a bunch of the guys have been playing poker to pass the evening hours. Last night, my fourth game, I took the big pot. 50,000wan! (50USD) I'd been borrowing money just to buy into the game, so I was able to pay back that debt and keep 10,000 for myself. Pretty exciting game, next one is Friday night. Now the other players know not to underestimate me.

Rice and meat and Kimchi for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I try to avoid the spicy stuff, but its growing on me a little. Hump day of the second week already - Summer's going quickly, but I'm having a great time here (and getting paid well for it) so I'm pretty content.

Kind of dreading Taiwan, because I've decided to work and go to school next year, but it'll be nice to put some money into savings.

Wednesday in Korea

2007-07-25T02:27:00.000-07:00

It's my second full day of classes - It's Wednesday already so the first week is (kind of) almost over. . . teaching University students is a breeze. Even though the hours are long - I had to get up for morning exercizes at 6:30 - there is a lot of downtime and the ESL is teaching straight out of the book. Today I tried to give a workshop on magic tricks. Found out tricks are not very much fun for anyone once revealed. . .and I had to kill 30 minutes playing 'spoons'. I also have to do a lesson on Oregon "Culture". I downloaded the nearly 30 year old video game "The Oregon Trail", which was the height of cool when I was in elementary school, and tomorrow I'll let my Korean students make Wagons and try to get their party all the way to Oregon without dying from Dysentery or Typhoid.

The food is OK, only really spicy. Lunch, breakfast and dinner includes rice and about 3 different entre's covered in red chilli pepper sauce, everything is bright red. Including the Kimchi - onions, fermented cabbage and lots of chilli peppers. I usually eat pretty simply. Some of the food is allright. I have granola bars in my room for between meals.

Korean people are different from Taiwanese. The women are less attractive, I think. Many of the women get plastic surgery, but otherwise they are kind of lumpy and plain. However, Korean guys are well-built, very stocky, bulging muscles; very cool and strong. They don't have much to choose from, which may be why they get so angry when foreigners date Korean girls. On the other hand, Taiwanese girls are beautiful, but the boys are all geeks - pudgy, scrawny and silly looking.

Many people here at camp are reading the final Harry Potter book. I bought a copy in Taiwan, but didn't have a chance to pick it up. Luckily, I can download the entire thing online - there are actually people who ran out to buy the book, then typed it all up and put it on the internet, so that I can read a copy for free. Amazing.

Tonight I'm playing poker with a bunch of the guys here - I already lost $10 last time - which I had to borrow because I won't get paid until Friday. Maybe I'll win it all back.

Korea

2007-07-20T00:41:00.000-07:00

A rough landing jolts me awake as we land in a mist-veiled Korea. As I leave the plane, I feel underdressed: pin-stripe suits seem to be in style, and my light summer wear from Taiwan doesn't suit the chilly weather. I gather my luggage and grab a bus into town, pointing at maps and pictures of where I want to go.

Despite my clear directions, and the fact that express buses should run until midnight, I am unable to find a bus to Jinju city. The ticket vendors, who ramble on in Korean without so much as a nod of the head or a point in the right direction, won't take my money and give me a ticket. I'm pretty sure they are saying there are no more buses, but who knows. Stuck in Seoul - pronounced "Soul", I find out later.

I've been hired as an ESL teacher for a one month English immersion camp at a University in the South Korean town of Jinju. Orientation is tomorrow morning at 10am, don't be late, and Seoul is 4 hours away. Years of similar experiences should have taught me better, but my bank account is empty and I had very little cash because, once at camp, I shouldn't need any. I hadn't figured in a stay at a hotel. Luckily, I ran into some foreigners who pointed me towards a "love hotel", so named because it is used for discreet encounters, I suppose. 45USD got me a nice room, and I stayed up all night watching CSI, Top Model and Die Hard 1. This morning I got up at 5:30 but still missed the 6am bus and had to wait for 7. When I finally got to Gyeongsang National University I'd missed the morning orientation, but. . . I'm here!

Korea is great, so far. People aren't as friendly as Taiwan, (well, at least so far, but what do I know? They're probably just a little more reserved) but I like the climate. Reminds me of Oregon, more hills, trees, agriculture. The architecture is clean and sharp, everything looks like it was put up yesterday. They love hot dogs and drinks come in small cans. It's much more similar to Japan than I expected.

Camp starts on Monday. I can't believe I'll be here for a month, but it should be fine. There are movie nights, sports, outdoor activities, and more. I have a great room, the campus is nice. HUGE tv screens everywhere, I've never seen anything like it. Anyway, gotta go I think. More later.

East Coast

2007-07-17T06:13:00.001-07:00

My parents were here recently and we did a bit of traveling. Taiwan is both strange and beautiful. My favorite pictures are on my flicker website.

More at Flicker.com

Taipei and Kenting

2007-07-17T05:58:00.000-07:00

In two days I leave for Korea! It's been a hectic week. I had to go up to Taipei to get my tickets and Korean visa. Taipei is SO immense, I always feel like a rat in a treadmill. Even taking the MRT and Taxis between my destinations was tiring. I was exhausted by the end of the day and, when they told me I had to wait two days to pick up the visa, I decided to just go home (Tainan) so I could sleep during the 5 hour bus ride. A day later, I took another bus back to Taipei. This time I thought I'd play it smart and rent a scooter.

Amazingly, some women (whose shop looked like the inside of a garage filled with garbage and junk) let me rent a scooter with neither a passport or an ARC! All I had on me was my Student ID. It was 700nt, about 20bucks, and the scooter came with just enough gas to make it to the nearest gas station, providing I didn't get lost. I was headed towards Taipei 101 which was lucky, as it's an easy landmark to find and I'd not only forgotten to bring my city map, I also didn't have the addresses of the places I needed to go. It took me about 40 minutes longer to drive across town than it would have taken on the MRT, and embarrassingly, when I got to the Korean Embassy, I realized I didn't even bring the receipt to get my passport back! Luckily they recognized me and it wasn't a big deal. I got my tickets to Korea and to Malaysia, hung out with some friends, and finally went back to Tainan.

In Tainan I renewed my ARC and Taiwan Visa, which were nearly expired. And then, with less than a week before I leave Taiwan, decided to head to Kenting for some R&R. Kenting should be about a 2 or 3 hour drive from Tainan, but it was my first time driving down and it took me nearly 8 hours. I stopped a lot. I had to - driving a scooter long distances is really uncomfortable. The last two hours I got caught in a rainstorm, which made the trip much less pleasant. (The wind will actually push your scooter across the road, you have to be careful to keep in control). Once in Kenting, I broke out my brand new tent and sleeping bag, which I've had for months but never used. I thought it would be an adventure, but it was too hot to sleep very well.

I went swimming and got a good sunburn with some friends, then hit the road home, just in time for another heavy rainstorm.

Next time I'll splurge, go down by train and stay in a hotel.

Theft!

2007-07-17T05:51:00.001-07:00

Today I stopped by the University to drop off some books, and when I came out, we caught someone breaking into my scooter! Under the seat is a compartment to store things; my particular scooter isn't very well put together anyway and any key of roughly the right shape will pop it open.

It was a surreal situation: I walked right past him without recognizing that it was my scooter he was digging into - Funky yelled "Derek he's stealing your things!" I turned back, there was my helmet, a comic book. . .yes, it was my scooter alright. The guy was about my age, Taiwanese, his clothes looked a little shabby. I nodded and said, "Wo-de," (Mine). His fists were full of the spare change I keep in my scooter for emergencies, but he dropped the money back inside and smiled sheepishly. I said, "Xie xie", (thanks) and he ambled off.

I was tempted to give him some money, figuring he was just down on his luck, but as we left we saw him breaking into more scooters across the street. Maybe somebody is going to lose more than a few dollars change.

Happy Dragon Boat Festival!

2007-06-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

Well, although I may have missed the boat races, at least I went out dancing last night to celebrate. But today its back to the grind - trying to organize a Levinasian response to Paradise Lost. 1 more week to finish three papers and take two tests, and I'm done for the summer.

Frustratingly, I've spent much of the past month applying for summer camp jobs in Korea without getting any responses - crazy! I have a great resume with tons of ESL camp work experience - just who are they holding out for? However, I had two phone interviews this week and things are looking pretty good. The one I'm interested in is in Suwon, not far from Korea. It's only 3 weeks which means I'll have some downtime before and after, but still save enough to go to Kuala Lumpur (and maybe also Thailand and Cambodia?) at the end of August.

Going crazy

2007-06-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of depressing rain and thunder storms, today was too hot to focus on anything other than napping. Which is bad news, incidentally, because I have a paper due on Monday that I'm having trouble organizing, two more papers the following week which I haven't started, as well as a couple exams coming up. Unfortunately, being the end of the semester, this is also when teachers in Taiwan try to "make up" the lectures that they've missed or canceled during the course, so that in addition to our regular classes, we have extra classes squeezed into every available moment, including national holidays (dragon boat festival) and weekends.

My topics for the papers are fascinating, actually, but I'm frustrated because I'm sure I'll never be able to do them as well as I'd like to in the two weeks I have, when facing everything I'm supposed to be doing at the same time. Even worse is the fact that I'm spending all my free time trying to find a summer job that will pay enough to take a long, leisurely holiday at the end of August, and worrying about my health - constantly reminded of my mortality and the futility of everything by the constant gnawing pain under my right ribcage, which tomorrow's endoscopy should confirm as a gastric ulcer.

Faced with all the pressure, I'm escaping into dreams of freedom. I'm actually HOPING that this summer is hot enough to melt all the ice in Greenland, raising the oceans by 20feet and flooding most of California, Florida, as well as all the coastal cities in Taiwan. (it could happen, really...) Of course, this could be seen as a major tragedy. But what do I know of tragedy? My generation has never seen the kind of change that comes with epic disasters...the kind that makes novels, movies and stories worth telling - the fire in which pure souls are elevated, the breakdown of social order which allows the possibility of true freedom. I'm sick of the idea that I will always have to work, always have to provide for myself (and my family, if I choose to have one). I would much rather scuba-dive down into the wrecked jewelry shops and search for abandoned gold trinkets.

Oh well.

2007-05-30T09:57:00.001-07:00

Stressful Week

2007-05-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

The primary reason this semester is so stressful is my class schedule - most days I start school at 1pm, but on Monday and Thursday I have class at 9am. The irregularity throws off my sleep schedule and inevitably I stay up Sunday night until 4am, get up at 8am and go to school; however, on Monday I also have a German class in the late afternoon, after a three hour break.

I'm required to take 2 years of a foreign language because I didn't study a foreign language as part of my under-graduate degree. It doesn't seem to matter that I already speak Spanish, and quite a bit of German and Chinese. (Chinese, incidentally, doesn't count for this requirement because it isn't "foreign". Japanese would have been too hard because of the characters, so I chose German). The credit doesn't count for a grade, I only need to have a "Pass" mark...and because I've studied German before (a year in high school and six months with Inga, my German girlfriend I met in Malta), the class is pretty easy for me. For all these reasons combined, and because this Monday I was also sick, I missed German class for the 3rd time this semester. The teacher told my classmate to tell me that, as she'd warned us at the beginning of the semester, my three absences forbade me from taking the final exam.

I could go off on a long tangent about the futility of "attendance"...I know, I know, 90% of life is just showing up...but give me a break - showing up to class is an imprisonment. I trade two hours a week of my physical presence, practicing what I don't need to practice, for a language ability requirement that has nothing to do with my actual language abilities. And if I miss too many episodes (even if I score higher than everyone else on the tests) I'm forbidden the credit. What is education? What should be rewarded - knowledge, talent, or effort? Should those students who try very very hard get a higher grade than those students who don't need to try hard, who learn easily and effortlessly?

At any rate - you can't beat the system. If I don't have that credit, I'll have to retake it next year. So I tracked my professor down and apologized to her and asked her about make-up work - luckily, I caught her in the middle of teaching another German class, which she let me sit in on for the day, and now everything is square. (I'm lucky, because it was an easy solution to a big problem.)

Last night, I got an email saying I still owed tuition (which I thought I'd already paid). Apparently there was a 'tuition' and a 'course fee' - I didn't know that I was paying per class rather than a flat fee. So I owe $600usd. That doesn't sound like a lot, but its $20,000nt in Taiwan, which is how much a lot of people earn in a month. I was trying hard to save up to pay tuition NEXT semester, so this came as somewhat of a blow.....but then I also found out today that I will probably get my scholarship through the summer, which is really, really great news and far outweighs the extra tuition.

I don't know why I'm rambling about my problems. My brain feels too full recently, there's too much going on, too much to do and too much to think about. I've been reading "Life and Times of Michael K", a fascinating book about a guy who just wants to be left alone, who goes and hides in a cave and grows pumpkins to live on and nearly starves himself to death because he just wants to lay down and do absolutely nothing all the time. Right now that's sounding pretty good to me. However, I've got to finish this semester first. I noticed in class today, I'm starting to "Mimic" the academic language myself, which is pretty good. It makes it sound like I know what I'm talking about - and maybe I do. Today I brought up Wittgenstein's theory of DaSein in a discussion about being, and correctly used the term "Symbolic Order", an overused expression in literary criticism which comes from Lacanian Psychoanalysis, and refers to the organizing effects of language.

ArtFest

2007-05-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

I wrote a little about this on my other blog, the one for my art. It was a grand affair. I have school tomorrow morning but am not ready to sleep. I'm counting down the days until I finish this semester, quit my jobs and private tutoring, and have a bit of adventure. I've gotten far too busy for comfort. Not that I'm doing anything. But having so much to do robs my time of its slow and beautiful passing.

Yesterday it was raining

2007-05-24T03:38:00.000-07:00

It was raining hard yesterday and the day before. Many parts of our apartment face outside and have no windows - and even those parts with sliding screen doors are not immune to the water, which builds up outside, inches upon inches until it can leak through the vacuous joints of the old building and flood the interior. Not that I mind - I just let it flood, and then let it dry. The result is MOLD. Hard to keep things dry here. Mold is common. Military planes have been flying overhead, bearing their brawn, convincing the Taiwanese that they are prepared for a war with China. A few weeks ago the government did a computer analysis of war strategies and concluded that in a year war, Taiwan wouldn't lose.

Downstairs someone is wailing terrible karaoke. A woman and a man. It sounds a little like native American chants, but with amplifiers, reverb and off-key singing. Lots of warbling. They are singing for the god that sits at the end of the alleyway, whose temple I can see from my bedroom window. Nobody else sees him; the alley is out-of-the-way. If his handful of devotees didn't visit constantly, burning paper money, performing in front of him, then he would get bored. I'm on the 5th floor, but the noise carries for blocks.

"Pearl Harbor" has been playing constantly on TV, several times a day. It's even harder to take the obese patriotism now than it was the first time, having just read "Obasan" and "No-No Boy", which talk about how America and Canada rounded up all of the citizens of Japanese heritage and through them in disgusting concentration camps, forced them to live like animals while at the same time seizing all of their properties and bank accounts - most of which was redistributed to whites. And that was all before the dreadful atom bombs which peeled the flesh from their skins. Go America.

Tonight I'm teaching idioms to my private student.

Mimicry and TOEFL

2007-05-22T10:54:00.001-07:00

I have some students preparing for the TOEFL exam, so I was wondering how best to help them out. Most schools that teach TOEFL preparation are actually teaching tricks on how to "guess correctly" - looking out for specific patterns, and using knowledge of the testing format that TOEFL employs to get a feel for the probable answer - rather than actually teaching English. On the one hand, this is probably very effective. People who learn these tricks will undoubtedly get higher scores than the students who try, through conversation or newspaper reading, to quickly improve their English ability. However, using these high test schools to get into schools or to get jobs will be misleading. It's almost like cheating.

Last night I ran into a guy at the grocery store (both of us doing our shopping after midnight) and we had a very long conversation about all kinds of things, during which he claimed that all Taiwanese people cheat on everything, all the time. They copy notes and tests from previous years, trying to reproduce the "right" answers - and who can blame them? They could stagger off into their own independent territory, trying to do it all on their own, and they will undoubtedly get lower grades. Since grades in Taiwan completely rule your entire future, with no exceptions, nobody can afford the risk of independence. Learn what works. Learn the right answer. Not the process.

But is this cheating? One of my student's other teachers gave him a list of grammatically correct sentences to use during essay writing. He was supposed to memorize the sentences and then copy them into his essay whenever possible. He asked if this was a good idea, and I said that it was: trying to express their own thoughts freely, they will translate from the Chinese and the grammar will be very difficult to sift through. The meaning will get lost, the paper will be obtuse and difficult to read. Learning the structure of many common English sentences, for transitions and things, will really help. Sure, the writing will be rough, fragmented, and disconnected. It may seem starchy or false. But at least there's a chance of getting the meaning across. Throwing the grammar around changes all of the meaning in English, and with many sentences together, meaning gets lost (I know, I've had to correct some papers).

Likewise, in my classes, I sometimes wonder if my classmates aren't "mimicking", or learning and reproducing the target language rather than fully understanding it. But then, what does it mean to "fully understand" something? If they know the right technical jargon and they employ it correctly, grammatically, in relevant discourse (sometimes I'm surprised how well they can do this - I usually reduce all concepts into very simple English) what separates them from native speakers?

Career Plans

2007-05-21T07:33:00.001-07:00

I realized today that I only have about 3 more weeks of class before finals. Yikes! My first semester is finished! I learned a lot, but not nearly as much as I could have. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I've done all that much in the past 10 months. I've been a little depressed recently, but only because I'm letting myself drown under the weight of the next 30 years until I can retire. Unlike normal students, I'm not worrying about the classes or the tests (which I know I can handle very well). Instead, I'm worrying about the kind of professor I will be, what kind of job I will get and if I'll enjoy it, where I will live, in what country, whether to buy a house or not, how much I can expect to save...

It's just too much, of course its crazy. I have to live much longer before I can think about retiring. Besides, the reason thinking about an academic career leads me to existential angst is that it isn't really fulfilling any of my life goals. I don't want to be a professor. I want to be a writer - but in the meantime, I should be 'doing' something for money, and teaching at a university seems like a pretty sweet gig. I'd much rather be talking about Jung's archetypes of Lacanian symbols or Postmodernity than teaching grammar to children. (So I think...but now I wonder, could I fill up three hours just talking about a novel the way my professor's can? Will I ever be able to? At least teaching kids you have structured materials and lesson plans.) I have a part-time job right now teaching adults which I thought was absolutely perfect when I got it. I can talk about anything I want. But I have to spend about an hour to prepare the lesson plan, and it seems I'm always anxious because its something else I have to do - one of the dozens of things I'm juggling. Teaching bushiban (cramschools) you just walk in, teach, and walk out. Nothing comes home with you.

At any rate: I'm allowing myself to be intimidated by the very highest examples, but the truth is there are lots of professors who aren't great teachers. And although I often feel like I'm not smart enough to be an "expert", I'm able to figure out what's going on most of the time - I can even read Derrida if I try hard enough. Which makes me feel that I'll always feel at home in a University.

Career Plans

2007-05-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I only have about 3 more weeks of class before finals. Yikes! My first semester is finished! I learned a lot, but not nearly as much as a could have. Unfortunately, I don't feel like I've done all that much in the past 10 months. I've been a little depressed recently, but only because I'm letting myself drown under the weight of the next 30 years until I can retire. Unlike normal students, I'm not worrying about the classes or the tests (which I know I can handle very well). Instead, I'm worrying about the kind of professor I will be, what kind of job I will get and if I'll enjoy it, where I will live, in what country, whether to buy a house or not, how much I can expect to save...

It's just too much, of course its crazy. I have to live much longer before I can think about retiring. Besides, the reason thinking about an academic career is that it isn't really fulfilling any of my life goals. I don't want to be a professor. I want to be a writer - but in the meantime, I should be 'doing' something for money, and teaching at a university seems like a pretty sweet gig. I'd much rather be talking about Jung's archetypes of Lacanian symbols or Postmodernity than teaching grammar to children. (So I think...but now I wonder, could I fill up three hours just talking about a novel the way my professor's can? Will I ever be able to? At least teaching kids you have structured materials and lesson plans.) I have a part-time job right now teaching adults which I thought was absolutely perfect when I got it. I can talk about anything I want. But I have to spend about an hour to prepare the lesson plan, and it seems I'm always anxious because its something else I have to do - one of the dozens of things I'm juggling. Teaching bushiban (cramschools) you just walk in, teach, and walk out. Nothing comes home with you.

At any rate: I'm allowing myself to be intimidated by the very highest examples, but the truth is there are lots of professors who aren't great teachers. And although I often feel like I'm not smart enough to be an "expert", I'm able to figure out what's going on most of the time - I can even read Derrida if I try hard enough. Which makes me feel that I'll always feel at home in a University.

Losing face

2007-05-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

I just had a two hour private lesson with a young engineer who wants to improve his English. He's very friendly and very intelligent, we sit in a charming coffee bar eating sandwiches and going over GRE vocabulary and recent newstories. Part of me feels bad of course - I'm a native English speaker and people pay me a great deal of money just to talk with me. But, I charge the standard going rate, 600nt, less than what many charge for private lessons. And as teachers go, I'm probably pretty good. Although, I kept having to explain that GRE and TOEFL words are usually never used in conversation and that Americans also have to study hard to remember them all. (Defalcate, eviscerate, execrate - think you know what they mean? I was surprised when we looked them up in his electronic dictionary.) Also, people are looking for the fastest, best way to learn English well, and 1-on-1 conversation with a native is probably pretty good (although it depends a lot on the material.)

Several times tonight my student hinted time was up - but I was pretty sure it wasn't and besides, I don't care about the time because I was happy talking with him, trying to think up some American idioms. Finally however, we checked the clock, and it was already 30 minutes past the end of our session. I was surprised when he insisted on paying me for those 30 minutes - half of the hourly rate, 300nt. No, no! Of course not, it was my choice, my mistake not watching the time, it doesn't matter, I don't need it. But he'd already made change and was handing me the money. This is one of those complicated "Face" issues you hear about often in Chinese culture. Of course, I felt that I took the money too quickly - I did protest, but he insisted, and I gave in. Should I protest more? Absolutely refuse? Stalk out the door? Slap him in the face? At one point does one of us "win"? It was very nice of him to offer, but of course the money was unnecessary; this was a battle I should have won easily, but I generally avoid conflict and don't like making scenes, so... But now I feel bad. And I can't help but wonder if he feels bad for losing 300NT.

When my parents were visiting Taiwan, we went out to dinner with my former employees, a cute Taiwanese couple. After the meal, my parents insisted on paying, as did they. Finally, my parents paid - then in the parking lot, the Taiwanese called me over and gave me money for their half at least - I took it to my parents and they refused it, they had me chase the Taiwanese back to their car; the Taiwanese ran from me and slammed their doors. I took the money back to my parents again and they complained. My dad said "you made me lose face!" But somebody will always lose face. Wouldn't it be more generous to accept the loss and let the others win? Except that, then they, after winning, would probably resent the fact that they had to pay. What a silly world.

Strawberries and Bananas

2007-05-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Oh no. I've become one of those people that talks about their health and bowel movements all the time. Yuck. But, it seems to be the most common theme in my life these days - and I've also made (trying) to be healthy my top priority, so what I can and can't eat is often on my mind.

I got very sick last week from beef - rice at a dingy restaurant; sick enough to finally go to the hospital and get some tests done. The reason I never go to the hospital here, incidentally, is that I have to get a number and sit and wait for several hours before I see anybody....which is how it went down this time as well. After first convincing the front desk that I wanted to see a gastro-internalist rather than a 'family doctor' because I already know what my problem is, I sat down and waited. Like all white people in Taiwan, however, I expect special treatment and can't stand to sit around and be ignored. I thought maybe I'd been given the wrong number, because according to my calculations, it would be at least another 2 hours before I could see anybody, and that was way too long. So I complained, and they sent me to the pediatrician, who was very nice and could schedule all the right tests. Ultrasound was clean, to my surprise, because I thought something could be wrong with my liver. Nope, must be something inside the stomach. Most likely, I've had a peptic ulcer for years which is why I throw up all the time.

I decided to fast this week. For the last 5 days I've had only fruit and vegetable juices. It was going pretty well until I ate a banana, which is a common migraine trigger, and I was sick again. Then today I had shaved ice with strawberries (usually I'm ok with sweets) and now I'm sick AGAIN....(if you get migraines, you can only eat very fresh cream, so you have to avoid any kind of milk or whey powder which is made from old milk.) I was feeling amazing, excellent, and euphoric after not eating for 5 days. Better than I've felt for a long time. But it didn't solve any of my problems.

The trick is to never eat a trigger food, which seems like it would be simple, but isn't. Although it seems like bananas and fresh fruit and all that healthy stuff would be good for my stomach, I'm actually better on packaged cookies and cake. I can eat tons of cake and not get sick. Cake all the time.

On an up note, today I went on a shopping spree and bought 5 pairs of jeans, and a luxury pair of linen pants. (Oh so comfortable!) I cleaned out my closet a little and packed away all my sweaters. It's getting pretty warm in Taiwan. I have a month left of school, and this summer I'm planning on working for a month in Korea, and then heading to Malaysia to watch my best friend Nick basejump off of cliffs.

English in Taiwan.

2007-04-19T07:36:00.001-07:00

Tonight I went to a conversation party for a group of English-speaking university students of NCKU. They are among the very top in their class from various disciplines like mechanical engineering and urban planning. They are also very fluent in English. I was surprised - I'm in the English Department and yet many of them spoke English better than some of my classmates.

I haven't yet described just how insane the Taiwanese education system has become - and I don't mean that negatively; its just that, as far as I know, Taiwan is the only country in the world to teach every university student of every degree completely in a second language. As of about three years ago, Taiwanese lecturers have to teach all disciplines in English - so Taiwanese PhD's of Engineering or physics who had been teaching in Chinese for 30 years and perhaps had at best rusty English, suddenly had to lecture in English. The classes are in English, the books are in English, the tests are in English. At least in theory - some professors begin in English and after about 5 minutes, when all the students are falling asleep because they can't understand anything, they switch to Chinese.

I'm a little outspoken on this subject because I think its crazy - how can you learn a subject any better by studying it in a foreign language? I don't think you can; I think Taiwan will produce a generation of incompetent English speakers, who speak English pretty well and know their subject slightly less than they would have if they studied it in their own language. But that's my prejudice because I know, if I studied philosophy in German or theology in Latin, I would have improved my language skills but not fully understood the subject.

However, I admit that I'm probably wrong. Ludicrous as it sounds, Taiwan is not crazy. It's just a small island. There are too many graduates and not enough jobs in Taiwan. What will happen is an economic crisis and lots of unemployment. By forcing students to learn English, they are increasing the opportunity and likelyhood that Taiwanese professionals will move abroad to work, or at least have that ability in a scarce job market.

And, these students are probably smarter (or at least more industrious) than I am. While many won't be able to manage, most of the practical skills you need to do a specific job are learned on the job, not at university - they will probably learn enough to get the degree, which is enough to get the job - and they can learn what they have to later. And some, like the students I met tonight, will be able to move flawlessly back in forth between English and Chinese, in a complicated discipline; there is hardly a country they couldn't work in.

It's a double standard for me - I'm in Taiwan studying English, my native language. People ask why not study Chinese literature: well, because there's no way in heck, even if I'm an excellent Chinese speaker and a great academic, that I will be chosen to teach Chinese literature. In Taiwan, and probably also in America, a native Chinese speaker will get the job. It's the same in Taiwan. The university positions for teaching English and teaching English literature will often go to Native Speakers who also have an MA in English (which is what I'm studying for.)

Off the subject, I'm sick. I was sick yesterday (very sick) and today I'm sick again, although I haven't eaten anything dangerous. (Except an unwashed apple, and ONE Dorito.) It's gotten to be my private joke, when people ask, "Oh, you're allergic to MSG? So. . . do you cook at home?" And I say, "No, I just get sick." Ha. Of course its silly and stupid, but then so is throwing up after eating one Dorito. It's a ridiculous situation. I handle it the best I can. Funky bought me some awful Chinese "Stomachic Powder: Chin Shih Tzu". Mostly Sodium Bicarbonate.

English in Taiwan.

2007-04-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

Impervious to crime

2007-04-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

Last week my flat-mate came home depressed because someone had stolen her bicycle. The next day, she was complaining to a classmate of hers about it. The classmate happened to know the gang who went around stealing bikes, and he made some inquiries. Later, he told her he'd found 3 bikes the same color as hers picked up in her neighborhood, and she could come over and ID them - sure enough, she found hers, and took it back.

I think this story is amazing: not only are Taiwanese flawlessly generous and trusting, (to foreigners, not each other), but Taiwanese criminals won't even STEAL from a foreigner.

Foreigner for sale

2007-04-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

I started a new part time job tonight - exactly what I wanted, 5 hours a week Wed/Fri evenings only, conversation classes with adults. I can choose any topic I want, prepare my own materials...it's fabulous. After I finished, Funky told me she'd seen a girl near the train station passing out fliers and yelling "We have Foreigners! Come talk to a real foreign person in English! First class is free!" She thinks it was probably even the same school I teach at, but there are lots of schools in that area. On another street corner is a fruit stand; the owner always stands out by the street wearing a headset with a microphone and amplifier, and yells the prices of oranges and bananas at the scooters waiting for the red lights.

Incidentally, for this job that I think is pretty good, it would take Funky 15 hours of work to make what I get paid in 2 1/2.

Computer nerd

2007-04-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm a geek. I should've gone down to Kenting in my week off, spun fire, danced on the beach with a thousand girls in bikinis...but I stayed home. I watched 3 movies a day and painted quite a bit, and never left my bedroom.

A few days ago I decided I was bored with my windows XP and was thinking of upgrading to Vista - until I found out that you could get XP skins and customize your desktop to look like Vista. Cool! So, stupid me, I downloaded everything I could until my computer was coughing up blood. Usually I just 'system restore' to undo changes, but somehow, my computer would no longer turn off on command - so system restore wouldn't work! I couldn't find a way around it. Days later and about 10 reinstallations of a cracked Windows XP Pro Service Pack 2, I'm stable again. I got all my programs back up and then some - take a look at my desktop! It's so clean and shiny. I've got a calendar and a to-do list that I can mark important events on, and my computer will greet me with the days schedule! I also get live feeds on the temperature outside and moon phases, and most cool of all, there's a swivel icon menu just like Mac computers have. (I'm no fan of Macs, but they are definitely nicer looking.)

And thank God I'm done. I'm pretty OCD, when I have a project or problem or something to fix or find out, I can't do ANYTHING else. I can't relax, or sleep, or eat, or go to the bathroom. Here it is 4am again, last night I didn't get to bed until 6am and then I managed to get to class at 9! But I'm starting to feel the dizziness of sleep deprivation, a lot of hours in bed is on my agenda for the rest of the week - a long with finding a job, to pay for all my shiny Palladium teeth.

Swimming Lessons

2007-04-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today Funky and I went to the nearby Spa. I haven't been for a long time, but its a really nice place with scented hot water pools, lots of pressurized water jets and fun things to play with. Every time I leave that place I feel completely relaxed and ready for bed. I wanted to teach Funky to swim, because she says she wants to surf but has a morbid fear of water. I had lots of suggestions - I demonstrated front crawl, breast stroke and even doggiepaddling, but she refused to take her feet of the ground and even float in the water.

Every time her head went under she'd freak out and scream and start choking on the water; and this is in less than 4 feet of water. I tried to get her to just hold her breath underwater, or better yet, breathe in, then breathe out underwater...but her paranoia was overwhelming. Most Taiwanese can't swim. When Funky grew up, her parents told her "Don't play in the water, water is dangerous, it will kill you, you will drown and suffer horribly", passing on an inheritance of Hydrophobia. Next time, I'll buy her a flotation board.

Painting again!

2007-04-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

I saw this painting my first day in Taiwan, wandering around the still streets on a chilly morning in April - I was awake before the sun came up from the time difference and was eager to explore. I ate some of the best food I've ever had, a sticky rice bun with pork, crushed peanuts and fresh herbs. (Can't eat that stuff any more because of a intensified MSG intolerance.)

Anyway, I remember this painting from that morning. I found it again recently, in a painter's shop on a tiny side street next to Ckikkan towers, which is built on the remains of a 17th century Dutch fort, right in the center of Tainan. This guy did reproductions or portraits, and he's not bad, but its this ancient painting rotting outside that I love - I'll buy it sometime.

In the meantime, I've started painting again myself. It's amazing that I haven't done it in so long. I've been focusing on writing and developing in other directions; but painting just makes me feel so good, so energetic. And I love that I can paint what I want without having to justify it or prove it; even though my paintings are 1000 times as challenging or provocative as my writing. I'm working on a painting of the last supper, but I have four large canvases already sketched, so I'll cruise through several I think in the next couple of months. After that, I'll be able to organize some exhibitions.

International Food Festival

2007-03-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend NCKU organized an international food festival. I was thinking about making and selling something, but what does America have? Hamburgers and hotdogs come from Germany. Pizza and pasta come from Italy. What's left? In the end, I decided not to cook - but I felt bad for not being involved so I said I could spin fire in the talent show portion.

In retrospect, my act was a little bizarre. There were all these cute cultural dances, with groups of friends from some country in their traditional outfits, and then me: I chose a hard-rock punk criticism of American politics song (Greenday, American Idiot), and spun around on stage in jeans, twirling a flaming stick. Although the show went off ok, and thank God I didn't drop the thing and light anyone on fire, I still felt a little out of place. Later on, they held a fashion show and everybody who performed came out for 2nd and 3rd rounds of bowing - all of which I skipped, feeling conspicuously ordinary in appearance.

The food, however, was great. Hands down the best was an Indian curry with rice, chicken and garbanzo beans. There was also an amazing carne asado (good cooked meat) from Colombia, and they even had Yerba Mate - although they drink it cold there instead of hot, sweet, with milk.

Almost everything was fried, but pretty good stuff. Hmm... its making me hungry again. I also found out something interesting: people all over the world consider potato salad their own cultural heritage. Not just something they like to eat, but a sample of their own ethnic ingenuity. We had potato salad from Equador and potato salad from Mongolia. When I was cooking in Boston I worked with a girl from Romania - I asked her to make a special Romanian dish and she made potato salad - and she spent all day on it too, chopping up all the potatoes and vegetables until the looked just like the little squares that come in the frozen veggie mixes.

I know a lot of Americans who would consider potato salad the epitome of Yankee; like fried chicken and apple pie. Can you imagine going to Mongolia or Romania or Equador, somewhere that seems completely foreign, and getting a plate of chopped potatoes and mayonnaise?

Road Trip

2007-03-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

I'm going crazy on a Thursday night... class was canceled today so I've been sitting at home building my websites. Getting a lot of work done but going stir crazy. I did acupuncture yesterday, got another tooth drilled this evening (I have about 6 teeth left that aren't all metal posts and porcelain) and am kind of killing time with nothing to do.

Next week is Spring Break however, and I'm taking a road trip down to Kenting. I've never driven so far on my scooter, but desperately need an adventure - besides, next week is Spring Scream, Taiwan's largest outdoor music festival. Every college student on the island will cram into the tiny beach town for 3 days; there are 3 stages which will play 24 hour music, and its a constant party. (http://www.springscream.com/)I decided to camp, so I bought a tent. I'm also packing my fire staff and my metal detector.

My bike is old and falling apart. I had the foresight to take it in for an oil change (about a month late) but while I was there the mechanic recommended I change my tires and fix some broken bits. The entire front was all bashed up and falling off also, so I bought a new one. All the work set my back about 60USD, and while it was in the shop, the mechanic let me borrow his scooter to get to work. (It always astounds me when they just let me drive off with their scooter, with no ID or paperwork or anything, even though its pretty common.)

I need a fun, distracting project - so I'm going to buy some acrylic paints and paint my scooter crazy style for the trip. Make it super cool, arsty, and attention grabbing. Check back soon for picture.

Funky English

2007-03-20T03:26:00.000-07:00

In my minority literature class, recently we've been reading books by Chinese immigrants like Kingston's "China Men" or Amy Tan's "Joy Luck Club." What's fun about these books is the way the authors make word puns or play with the multiple meanings that arise going back and forth between English and Chinese. Unlike English, Chinese is a tonal language in which one sound can have many different meanings, depending on the tone. So the author will point out, that "Ro - Lo- Bo" to use a fictitious example, can mean second uncle or frog prince or tea ceremony.

However, the truth is that these second meanings aren't even noticed by Chinese speakers. Tones are tones, after all. A word with a different tone is a completely different word, with no relationship to the first. I know this because, when trying to learn Chinese, I often have trouble with words that sound alike.

In Chinese, there are words that sound exactly the same, but have different characters, and there are words that have the same characters, but sound different. Then there are the words we foreigners get mixed up, that have different tones, or sound the same to us, but which are never confused by native speakers. If you drop off the tone and write the word in blank pinyin, or an English approximation, a learner of Chinese, or someone who's not been brought up with Chinese as a first language, can readily see the substitutions and word games. For example, "Yao" can mean "I want", "to bite", and "medicine". So, "Wo yao yao yao," means I want to eat medicine. This is hilarious to foreigners or learners of the language. Chinese people, however, don't get the humor.

Amy Tan and Maxine Hong Kingston can only use these word puns because they were brought up in America but in a Chinese family - and the only people who can fully appreciate their little jokes, or have the same kind of fun with the language, are other people who can look at Chinese with an English mind-set.

I often find the very opposite of this phenomenon with my Taiwanese girlfriend, who hears connections between English words that I've never considered before. For example, when I'm cold, I say "Brrrr...." which to her sounds like "Bird." She never knows why I say "bird" when I'm cold. Even though I've explained it to her, she always thinks its funny to translate back into Chinese, "Xiao Niao" - Little Bird. When I was growing out my facial hair, she asked how to call it. I said, "Beard." She translated into Chinese, "PiJiu", or "Beer", which is what she heard.

One day after staying in watching movies, my girlfriend said "We are tomatoes on a couch!"
It took me awhile to figure out that this was what her memory and translation had retained from a phrase she learned in class, "Couch Potato."

Center of Attention

2007-03-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have a nervous, introverted disposition that generally prefers to hide in the corners observing the action rather than gathering attention to myself. In certain circumstances, of course, if I'm on stage or giving a speech, if I've assumed the role of exhibitionist, I can handle being the center of attention. In Taiwan, I'm rarely given the choice.

While most immigrants to America are marginalized and ignored, as a foreigner in Taiwan I'm very, very interesting. Today my professor got distracted from the lesson plan and began to ask me, in front of my classmates, personal questions about my background. Like most people, she thinks its surprising that I came all the way to Taiwan to study English literature and wanted to know the process behind that decision. I usually try to keep out of the limelight because I don't think its fair to Taiwanese students to be compared to a native speaker, and I don't want them feeling insecure in their abilities. And also, some days, like today, I'd just like to keep my mouth shut and count the seconds until class is over and I can go home - just like any other student. But being the foreigner, I usually feel a little responsible for helping the teacher out. Taiwanese students aren't really used to speaking out in class, and given that these classes are in their second language, its even harder for them to speak their minds. Often, if the teacher has asked a question, and nobody else seems to want to answer, I'll raise my hand and respond just so the class can progress.

Today I was thinking about skipping my afternoon German class. It's a beginner course and because I've studied some German before, its pretty easy for me. Besides, I have to take the class for credit on a pass/fail basis, so the grade doesn't even matter. However, one of my classmates told me that my German teacher, after I had a short conversation with her about her time spent in Spain (we could speak more fluently in Spanish than we could in English or German), was talking about me with her students during her Wednesday class. Why? No reason. I'm just interesting. I stand out. An American studying German in Taiwan who learned Spanish in Argentina. Of course, it means that I can't just skip German class when I want to. My absence will be just as conspicuous as my presence, if not more so.

Acupuncture, Part II

2007-03-17T10:32:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, after my first round at Taiwanese acupuncture, I had a headache and nausea. Not a migraine, this kind of headache was more like a hangover headache - I've felt it before whenever I do a detox program. A lot of people claim it's from the toxins that are stored in your cells releasing back into your bloodstream before being cleared out of your system. And, since acupuncture is supposed to help remove toxins, I took it as a good sign.

When I went back this time, I wasn't sure what to expect. Sure enough, after a brief evaluation, I went into the back to get more needles stuck in me.

She gave me me a few extra ones in my stomach and feet this time. Like before, it was very painful. When she put one in my arm, I could feel the pain shoot down my wrist to my ring finger. I was even worried about irreparable nerve damage. After the needles were in, I felt like a paper doll pinned down with thumbtacks. I couldn't move anything. I couldn't even scratch my nose.

The office was busy this time. The man to my right was doing a different kind of traditional health technique, known a "fire cupping". It's like a reverse massage that draws the skin up and outwards, using heat and plastic suction cups. I was a little jealous, it looked pretty comfortable compared to what I was going through, and he was in and out in less than 30 minutes.

To my right was another guy, with his girlfriend. I couldn't see exactly but I think he'd hurt his ankle, and he got about 30 needles in a 4 inch area down there. There were also several people in the back room, an old women with a loud, Taiwanese voice, and another woman, yelling in pain from what I guess what also acupuncture but I can't be sure. It's hard to know for certain if I feel any better - but I'm pretty sure it was good for me and I'll try to go back at least every month.

Sex and Violence

2007-03-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

Last week I read Al-Tayyib Salih's post-colonial novel, "Season of Migration to the North." It was fantastic. Like always, I found myself in class defending and exonerating the character that most readers, including my professor, associate with 'the bad guy'. "Cruel, heartless, inhuman..." are some of the words my teacher used to describe him. And true, he did murder his wife and cause several women to commit suicide - but I feel that the novel accurately portrays him as a victim who was only acting out the violent role that the British had already written for him, as an immigrant black Sudanese. As with several other novels I've read recently, the narrator is a guy who never does anything. All of the plot events are caused by the very interesting Said, who is mysterious, charismatic and seductive. True, bad things happen around him - but without him, there is no story. And in the end, it is the narrator's lack of action that allows the women he loves to be forced into an arranged marriage, as well as her subsequent suicide.

Today, I just started reading V.S. Naipaul's "The Mimic Men" and I'm already fascinated by it, although very little has happened. Perhaps I identify with the main character. He's attracted to foreign women, has an anxiety problem, and lives abroad. He keeps hinting at a terrible tragedy.

I've realized that the literary images which draw me in and haunt me even after I've finished a book, are generally concerned with sex and violence. Sure, great description helps, mood and setting, but its the event, the blood or sweat, that really binds my attention. Traditionalists sometimes blame the media, the News Channels or Movies, for introducing gratuitous visions of sex and violence into our lives - but without TV, wouldn't we resort back to thrillers and romance novels? Are the great classics of literature (Romeo and Juliet?) so powerful precisely because of the sex and violence they display?

Acupuncture

2007-03-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Today was an epic day. My Husserl presentation went off pretty well - but there were a lot of blank faces as the professor and I tried in tandem to explain the difference between Noematics and Noetics and their relationship to the Perceptive Noema. I've felt 'off' for several days, and I crashed early this afternoon for a 3 hour nap. I finally forced myself to get up around 5pm, feeling restless because of the hot, muggy weather and my dirty apartment.

I drove over to a Chinese medicine center that I'd scoped out yesterday, bravely went inside, and asked to see the doctor. She was charming and vivacious, and, as is customary, checked my pulse at both wrists before asking me any questions. I felt a little stupid describing my symptoms - migraines and vomiting, triggered mostly by food allergies. (The obvious solution is to avoid the food I'm allergic too, but I keep hoping some alternative method will completely reform my body.) I was worried about my digestive system and liver. Had I done any tests? Um...no. She was about to prescribe some Chinese herbs and send me on my way, but I asked specifically for acupuncture and that seemed to put her at ease. I'll bet a lot of foreigners came in asking to 'try it out', and so she could treat me more as a tourist than a patient. She yelled out to one of her assistants to set me up in back. "Where?" "All over!"

I was waiting in the back room for some time. The nurse was a cute young woman, she seemed to be stalling. I wondered if I was supposed to get undressed, and she didn't know how to ask me. However, the Doctor herself finally came in to treat me herself. I remember doing acupuncture at least once before, perhaps in Malta. I remember the needles being very small and flimsy, and were stuck just a little under the skin. This time was different. The Doctor placed each needle carefully in place and then tapped it deeper with her finger. It was very painful. "You mean, a warm, electric feeling, right? Or a dull throbbing?" She asked me. No, just pain. Sharp, intense, penetrating. I got two needles in each hand, four in my stomach, 1 in each knee and 2 in each foot. Then the assistant heated the needles by waving burning embers over them.

After about two minutes, I felt pretty comfortable. I was a little dizzy, but it could have been the harsh fluorescent light above me or that the room was filled with smoke from the incense. At one point the Doctor came back in. She grabbed each of the needles - I thought she was taking them out - and said 10 more minutes. As she did this, the intense pain came back; pain that spread up my arms and legs from the site of the needle. A few moments later, I was trying to relax by breathing deeply when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I looked down and was surprised to find the needles were still there. After a long while, the Doctor came in and took out all the needles. The whole process took about an hour, and I paid only $3.00, courtesy of my National Health Insurance. I would have been happy to come back in about a month, but she wants to see me again on Saturday.

It had been a hard week, so I drove straight to Tainan's cheapest movie theater where they show films that have already been out for several months. The building used to be a real theater and was converted. It's old and dodgy, a little sleazy, but only $2.00 and I had the whole theater to myself. I watched Denzel Washington's "Deju Vu". Afterwards, I thought about cruising over to the Confucius Temple to do some metal-detecting; but my left hand is still so sore from the acupuncture I can hardly make a fist.

Aren't I a handsome devil?

2007-03-14T07:27:00.000-07:00

In Middle School I had acne. I took an "high-risk" drug called Acutane for about 6 months, which completely and permanently cleared up my skin. It's considered high risk because, although it worked out fine in my case, "patients taking Accutane may develop potentially serious problems affecting a number of organs, including the liver, intestines, eyes, ears, and skeletal system. Some patients taking Accutane have developed serious psychiatric problems, including depression."

The reason I bring this up is to illuminate the very conflicted self-image I've developed - I've always had pretty high self-esteem, but that confidence has developed more out of ability than good looks. And in the West, besides your mother, there are few people who reaffirm your aesthetic quality.

Maybe I've been lucky to have spent many years outside of the USA - when you leave your homeland behind, you also lose much of the systematic criteria people use to judge you with. Good lucks become more or less a feature of your personality, rather than a comparative rating system. (Although, www.hotornot.com consistently rates me at above 80%. Except, surprisingly, for the above picture, which I really like.) However, when surrounded by the flawless olive skin, the large almond shaped eyes, abundant personality and maddening 'coolness' of Italians or Argentines, its possible to feel a little insecure.

In Taiwan, I am Brad Pitt. When I walk down the street, boys and girls alike will turn, stare, then elbow their friends in the ribs and point me out. Kids will grab their parents and shout, "WaiGuoRen!!" (Outside-country-person), and parents will, with only slightly more subtlety, likewise point me out to their children. There are at least 500 foreigners in this town, and they've been here for years, but for some reason its always a surprise to find one. Maybe its lucky, like picking out a four-leaf clover. There's no doubt, we stand out. A white face is probably something like 1 in 5,000 here. And since "handsome" is almost synonymous with "white" - especially when it comes in the blue eyed variety, I'm treated like a movie star. If I go somewhere I haven't been before, even a tea-stall, the employees act really nervous and yell in the back for someone who can speak English. If they find out I can speak Chinese, then they ask me lots of questions. Before I leave, they'll make sure to tell me, whether they're a boy or a girl, that I'm "Hen Shuai" (Very Handsome)

Anywhere I go consistently, I'm remembered. They make less of a fuss about me being there, but they also remember exactly what I like to drink based on previous orders. If I'm at the nightmarket alone, somebody will try and sneak a picture of me with their cellphone. If I'm walking past someone who knows English, they will pause their conversation and switch into whichever random English phrase comes into their head. (Once the most adorable four year old girl called me "LoaShi" (teacher), and yelled "Tomato, Papaya, Dog, Puppy!" Equating those words with the proper sort of communication for a white guy like me.

It's true that while it may be cool to know (or even date) a foreigner, most girls aren't confident enough in their English or good looks to approach one. Besides, romance in Asia is much more focused on that dreamy life of comfort between soul-mates, which includes reading together in a bookstores or laughing together in the rain. Generally girls want someone they feel can understand them. Those girls who do date foreigners, are often attracted to their "foreign-ness" quality more than anything else, and end up dating several foreigners. ("Landing" a foreigner is much more difficult than marrying a Taiwanese. Local men are brought up to be good, stable providers, who then look for wives. Foreign men are looking for a no-strings, part-time girlfriend to have fun with until they go home.)

I wonder if foreigner's reputation for licentiousness is tied to how they are perceived and treated. Someone who's never had any luck with women at home comes here and gets flirted with, by beautiful women, almost constantly. It's enough to drive a man crazy.

Husserl's Phenomenology

2007-03-12T03:07:00.000-07:00

I love studying at NCKU. The Master's program of Foreign Language and Literature has excellent courses about fascinating subjects. All the courses and reading material is in English (thank goodness), but this doesn't make it less challenging. Reading Moby Dick doesn't get smoother just because it's in my native tongue, however, compared to my Taiwanese classmates who are studying the same subjects in English, their 2nd language, I'll admit that it's easier for me than them.

A long with classes in Post-Colonial, Minority, British or American literature, which center on great novels, we also have some classes on Literary Criticism - or the philosophy of interpreting written texts. Right now I have a class on Levinas, examining how his theories of "The Other" have influenced modern novels. And as a pre-cursor to Levinas, we have to study Heidegger, and before we get to Heidegger, we need to be introduced to Husserl.

I'm a philosophy major and so my partner and I were given the first essay to read and report on. (Today is Monday, we have to give the presentation on Thursday.) And I'm not complaining, philosophy is kind of fun - its a lot of old guys who get a high off of sounding more intellectual than anyone else. Every philosopher has had to create a whole new language for himself, giving catchy titles to all of his chief theories, in order to prove that his ideology is really fresh and exciting. And then they write books about things that don't exist and can't be measured. (Levinas writes about "The Other", but also says that "The Other" can never be comprehended. If we understood "The Other", then it would not be "The Other".)

I like to think I'm pretty sharp, but it takes me two or three readings to understand what anybody is talking about. And it's kind of like doing a cross-word puzzle, you have to look for clues in the usage to figure out what the concepts mean, and then apply the meanings into the texts for comprehension. It feels like running in a thick fog, going around in circles, running into trees and rocks. Here's a sample from the assigned reading:

"By making the most arbitrary changes that wholly disregard reality as it is and therefore are best made in our phantasy, the immutable and necessary complex of characteristics without which the thing cannot be conceived is made manifest. All variations have concrete similarities with the same prototype, and the manifold of new instances produced in phantasy is permeated by an invariant and identical content. In terms of this content, all of the arbitrarily performed variations come to congruence, whereas their individual differences remain irrelevant."

Imagine reading 20 pages of that, and then imagine trying to read it in Chinese. That's how hard it must be for my classmates. The professor warned as that it was a challenging course, but its mind boggling to me how any semblance of intelligible meaning can be pulled from a philosophical text, originally written in German, translated into English, and then taught to Taiwanese students who have to convert it into some kind of Chinese equivalent. Incredible.

Currency Crisis

2007-03-12T02:43:00.000-07:00

I came back to Taiwan with a shiny new $100 bill from my grandpa. I forgot to change it at the airport, where they only opened three booths for several hundred people and we all had to wait an hour to clear customs, and have been holding onto it until today.

Of course, I waited until I was flat broke and needed to buy books and meet my classmate to discuss a presentation before I headed to the bank. I assumed, since they had the big electronic board with the conversion rates on it, that my request would be relatively smooth. This is how it went: The young man working there kept scratching his head and giggling feebly. A girl came over to be involved and peered over his shoulder, talking with him. Another woman came over too, and hovered nearby shouting advice - she seemed to know what she was doing. But then several times I heard her say in Chinese, "I haven't done this for a long time."

After finding several forms on the computer, filling in my personal details, getting my passport number and phone number, making several phone calls to various superiors, they finally printed out an enormous receipt (about one square foot) on an ancient printer - the kind that makes the loud screeching noise. Then they gave me my hundred dollars back. Armed with the receipt, I now had to go downstairs to another teller, who had to make several phone calls to her superiors before trading my 100 dollars for about 3,000 New Taiwan Dollars.

Now it's true, they probably don't face that specific issue on a regular basis and weren't use to dealing with it. Maybe they'd never seen a real one-hundred dollar bill before. If someone came into a bank in America with a thousand dollar Taiwanese bill, it would probably take some time to get it verified. Or would it?

Later that afternoon, I was talking with several foreigners. They were complaining about the organization (or lack thereof) of the University - and not just ours, it seems even the very best universities in Taiwan are prone to chaos. There are many different offices in many different departments, and no one seems to know what's going on. We pinned it down to lack of accountability. There is no one who can make a decision, all by themselves, when faced with a dilemma. Every decision needs consultation, outside input, group effort. One of my friends said, "Asia may be developing quickly, but I don't think they'll ever be a real threat to Americans, because we are more organized. You can ask a guy something and he'll make a decision, then and there, all by himself, and you move on. Things get developed quickly. Good ideas are implemented."

I'm not sure if this is true - however, I think American businesses as a rule have stronger processes. They've already thought of nearly everything that an employee might need to do, and there is a process for them to follow, which is probably explained in the training period. But its not just that. Often I've noticed that Taiwanese people just don't hurry - when there is a huge line and only one teller, she seems to be in no rush to speed things up. The bank doesn't open another line or help her out, perhaps because they don't have any contingency plans for extra traffic.

The Best Restaurant in Tainan

2007-03-10T02:26:00.000-08:00

It's Saturday and I made it over to the beach. Now, Tainan's beaches aren't great - the place we went to had its heyday about 20 years ago and by now had fallen into obscurity. It's just near "Golden Beach". There were still plenty of people out flying kites and remote control helicopters. No swimming (most Taiwanese can't anyway) but lots of young couples and teenagers having a good time.

The city of Tainan is completely re-doing An-Ping harbor, and in a year or two we'll have an amazing waterfront area closer to the city, with boardwalks, restaurants, and modern facilities (all right next to the old temples and forts that make An-Ping famous. At any rate, I tried a dowsing method on Google Earth, using the mouse and monitor like an Ouija board, and was drawn to a spot on the map. However...didn't find anything today. Almost nothing metal on the whole beach, which seemed strange, so I wondered if I came when the tide was too high. There must be a place where the heavier stuff gets deposited, right?

But the day wasn't a total loss, we went to my favorite restaurant in Tainan. Taiwanese food is excellent, however, nearly everything has MSG in it and I'm allergic. That means there are few things I can eat without getting really sick. I'm usually OK with Western places and I eat a lot of pasta, but who wants to live in Asia and eat Italian everyday? This restaurant is one of the few places that serves good fresh food with no MSG - plus its super cool inside.

Starting Out

2007-03-06T09:06:00.001-08:00

The ground was very hard under the ancient Bunyan tree. The gnarled roots had cemented the soil down to a dry, chalk like layer that ended abruptly only 10 feet away with the well-watered lawn of the university campus. But this is where my metal detector beeped, so we dug.

I bought the metal detector a year ago, before spending the summer working at a camp in Northern Taiwan's Yanmingshan National Park - there are some old gold mining towns up there, although I never got around to going. For some reason the mood struck last weekend and I dragged my girlfriend out on an adventure, first to the remains of a Dutch wall on Nanmen Road, then to the beach. I hadn't found much, but the thrill, the power, of being able to find things that have been hidden under ground for decades, is intoxicating. I was so excited to dig up something valuable that I couldn't relax, and convinced her to go out again in the evening.

I chose NCKU (National Cheng Kung University) because its near my home, and has lots of fields. The trees there must be at least a couple centuries old, and the campus is also just just within the old city walls, which were first constructed in 1735. Ill-equipped as we were, stabbing at the ground with tiny shovels, crouching in the dirt trying to see by the light of the one flashlight I'd purchased (the kind that you wear on your forehead), its amazing that we several coins - enough to satisfy my obsession enough for the night.

I returned a few days later on my own with a big shovel, to dig a spot that I'd dowsed at home. I'm still pretty self-conscious, being a white guy in Taiwan who already attracts a great deal of attention, but I stayed mostly in the shadows and dug 13 coins (between 20 - 60 years old), a rifle cartridge, a broken watch and an old belt buckle. I was staying with the safe, small finds that I knew I could dig quickly, but later decided to dig up one of the big ones - the ones that beep continuously for about 3 feet.

In general, I've found, the object isn't actually this big - its just that its been in the ground for a long time and has built up an electromagnetic field in the soil around it. I had to dig for a long time, and get around a lot of garbage, broken glass and old tinfoil packages, before I unearthed two old metal bowls. I imagine that this was the site of a picnic, back before disposable dishes and when burying your garbage was considered the proper way to clean up after yourself (50 years ago?)

I was a little disappointed, because what I really want is a bag of gold or silver coins. (I love the history aspect of it too, but I can see myself losing interest quickly if I only dig up non-valuables.) The university was only found in 1931 anyway, and so it makes sense that most of my finds would come in the period since. For older things I need to stay nearer the center of Tainan, like the Chikan Towers, the site of one of the original Dutch forts built in the 17th century.

However, the belt buckle I found is interesting. From the corrosion and style I'd guess it's very old. I've only covered a tiny bit of only one of the fields at the University (the coins I found were about 2 feet apart!) Luckily, I've got time to explore. Unlike relic hunters in most countries, I may possibly be the only person on this island with a metal detector!