Studying in Taiwan: Losing Face

When I came to Taiwan I was a cocky young kid; I was sure I understood the concept of 'face' enough not to make a big deal about it. "It's just about being polite and respectful; we have the same idea in Western Countries." But today I'm thinking about face in a whole new light...

I consider myself a respectful person. I am cautious, slow to speak, and choose my words carefully. I almost always try to send a balanced, polite email when I request something. But my requests are often ignored. Maybe it's because I'm always seeking external confirmation ('am I doing this right'?) and asking for help when I should be doing things on my own. Or maybe it's because I'm asking questions that I shouldn't.

In Malta, they raised our tuition fees by about 30% one year. That's a hefty hike. And since Maltese students don't pay tuition (only international students), and since the quality of the education hadn't improved, I felt that they were taking advantage of international students to fund private domestic affairs - and I was outraged. I send a scathing letter to the dean, the board, all the top brass, asking 'where is this money actually going??' Basically I was a small thorn trying to empower myself with rights which I didn't have.

I haven't changed much. Now I'm in my (4th year) Master's of Foreign Languages at NCKU in Taiwan. Last semester, after I had been accepted in the PhD program, someone at the department counted up my credits and found out I was short. This was entirely my fault... although I didn't do it on purpose, I must have miscounted. It is a shame that nobody at the university looked at my credits earlier, but I understand it isn't their duty. (Ie... it isn't in their job description). I'm not bitter, or jaded, or angry at anybody - at least not with my rational mind. But this year I'm taking the extra semester I need to get the final credits I need to graduate, and I'm a little worried.

Now I know that nobody else is going to be looking out for me, holding my hand, helping me select the right courses, which brings me to the very practical fear that, at the end of the semester, I will again be told that I got something long and still cannot graduate; at which point, I will be extremely upset at the lack of support of my department. Sure, strictly speaking, it isn't anybody's responsibility, and sure, even though the courses are in English, and a lot of the supplementary materials, forms, and information is in Chinese, it isn't their fault that I can't speak Chinese.

However - most universities or support staff that have international students do take care of them. They are quick to anticipate needs, and make the already complicated transition of studying abroad easier. Sadly, not so with my department.

Here is where the concept of face comes in: maybe it's true I ask for too much help. Maybe my imperialistic sense of entitlement is overbearing. I'm already pretty sure my nagging has alienated the faculty of my university. (I wouldn't nag if they would just answer my questions). But at the same time, I'm freaking sick of being in school, being off scholarship (for my second year), a little peeved that I'm not starting the PhD program as planned, and horrified that I'm playing some nightmarket game, tossing darts blindfolded, and that at the end of the semester they're going to hand me a cheap toy and say "You lost! Want to play again?"

So I've sent them an email voicing my fears and asking them to help me check my credits. This should not be a big deal - if they were friendly and helpful in the first place, I wouldn't feel that I'm overstepping my position. Am I being rude? By voicing my fears about the end of this semester, I'm calling attention to what happened at the end of the last semester, and implying indirectly that - if only they had helped check my credits before - I wouldn't be in this current crisis (which is TRUE - but by bringing it up even indirectly, am I causing them to lose face? Does 'losing face' just mean making people feel bad in order to get what you want? If I were Chinese/Taiwanese, would I just 'accept my fate' as bad luck, and stoically persevere?)

I feel like the culturally correct thing to do is pretend I don't need any help, check all my own data 10 times, make sure I have everything... or maybe ask my school classmates to do it (which I've done for most of the past 3 years.)

My main problem I guess is that I try to improve everything I'm involved in. This is the way the system is - but the system runs without care or concern of its students. This is Taiwanese culture, where individuals are supposed to work hard to keep up with the (frivolous) demands of the organizations; the organizations become stagnant dinosaurs, propped up by reputation rather than sheer innovative quality. I either want to grab the wheel, and make things better, or I want to get the hell out.

What do you think about this? Am I a whiny nuisance?