Center of Attention

I have a nervous, introverted disposition that generally prefers to hide in the corners observing the action rather than gathering attention to myself. In certain circumstances, of course, if I'm on stage or giving a speech, if I've assumed the role of exhibitionist, I can handle being the center of attention. In Taiwan, I'm rarely given the choice.

While most immigrants to America are marginalized and ignored, as a foreigner in Taiwan I'm very, very interesting. Today my professor got distracted from the lesson plan and began to ask me, in front of my classmates, personal questions about my background. Like most people, she thinks its surprising that I came all the way to Taiwan to study English literature and wanted to know the process behind that decision. I usually try to keep out of the limelight because I don't think its fair to Taiwanese students to be compared to a native speaker, and I don't want them feeling insecure in their abilities. And also, some days, like today, I'd just like to keep my mouth shut and count the seconds until class is over and I can go home - just like any other student. But being the foreigner, I usually feel a little responsible for helping the teacher out. Taiwanese students aren't really used to speaking out in class, and given that these classes are in their second language, its even harder for them to speak their minds. Often, if the teacher has asked a question, and nobody else seems to want to answer, I'll raise my hand and respond just so the class can progress.

Today I was thinking about skipping my afternoon German class. It's a beginner course and because I've studied some German before, its pretty easy for me. Besides, I have to take the class for credit on a pass/fail basis, so the grade doesn't even matter. However, one of my classmates told me that my German teacher, after I had a short conversation with her about her time spent in Spain (we could speak more fluently in Spanish than we could in English or German), was talking about me with her students during her Wednesday class. Why? No reason. I'm just interesting. I stand out. An American studying German in Taiwan who learned Spanish in Argentina. Of course, it means that I can't just skip German class when I want to. My absence will be just as conspicuous as my presence, if not more so.